Saturday, December 31, 2005
this should be my last post of the year heh i woke up this morning with a lot of images in my mind. i never knew that i can be such a mel and emotional person until this year hhahaa.. i thank God for being there thru-out. a good year.
I have a father.. He calls me His own
He never leaves me no matter where I go
He knows my name.. He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls and He hears me when I call
when no one was around, when i cried under the blanket, when my heart was aching, when i was filled with fear, when i didn't know what would come, when i was angry and disappointed mostly with myself and when i was broken deep down inside.
nothing could comfort and restore me more than Him.. my great God.
thank you Lord =)
listening >> He knows my name - Israel & New Breed
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Thursday, December 29, 2005
crown of creation. i'm reading 'captivating' by john & stasi eldredge halfway, quite a good one. it's basically a female version of 'wild at heart'. shall not really say the content here, gals.. you can go and read it yourself. it's just amusing.. woman's worst fear is abandonment.
alrite, we just spent the vouchers (prize from the skit) on earthquakes =) it was a good cg dinner at swensens and we've finally revealed one another's guardian angel. thanks gerlyn for all your blessings! i think most importantly is not the gift that we received, but it's the thought behind right?
after that we went to carrefour for a while, not to shop, but to take a look at the choc fountain.. haha... it looks quite nice. i won't spend money on that though, putting that at home can only make you really really fat. imagine a choc fountain at home.. waa..
speaking of which, i did receive quite a no of fattening xmas gifts this year. maybe i should start eating salad and fruits now =p
taken during the so called spt appreciation lunch at cartel~ think it's nice.
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Tuesday, December 27, 2005
been receiving a few emails on colour test, so i gave it a try-What's Your True Color?
Green
You're green, the color of growth and vigor. Good-hearted and giving, you have a knack for finding and bringing out the best in people. Green is the most down-to-earth color in the spectrum - reliable and trustworthy. People know they can count on you to be around in times of need, since your concern for people is genuine and sincere. You take pride in being a good friend. For you, success is measured in terms of personal achievement and growth, not by status or position. Rare as emeralds, greens are wonderful, natural people. It truly is your color!
hahaha... considering that i am money-minded, insecure and full of envy (why am i admitting this?), green is indeed the right colour =p
listening >> when you say nothing at all - ronan keating
a nice song in and out~
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Sunday, December 25, 2005
ok merry xmas ><i have difficulties in blogging recently, just not sure how to start haha. it's been another wonderful xmas. the services were great in one way and another. it was fun to do backstage managing, to see how everyone gave their best before the carols, before and in between the drama, before the testimony, before the song presentation, etc etc, the hard work and things unseen on stage. though we couldn't see the ppl in the auditorium, we just prayed our best that many hands would be lifted to cross the line. all in all, it ended well. christmas is my fave season, peace and joy everywhere, God is moving powerfully.
had a great xmas party at dome last nite, our unit booked the whole place and there were quite a lot of ppl showed up. we came very early to have our last rehearsal, exchanged gifts and cards.. met a number of new friends, played a lot of fun and silly games, presented the skit and won it hahaha... i am so proud of my cg, so many hidden talents =p grace was so good that she won the best actress and i think weiling deserved a lot of credits yah, but of course everyone played a great part as well, hard work is the key. $30 swensens' voucher will be well spent this week.
we went for midnight narnia after that, the movie's really not bad though i was struggling a bit, felt extremely sleepy n tired. susi fell asleep -_-" anyway we shared cab with ronnie (our new friend), quite amusing, he's very friendly haha.. very sincere yah.
spent almost whole day sleeping today, i'm pretty sure that's what most ppl did as well. went out in the evening, oh before i forgot 'happy bday dewen' =)
i had xmas dinner at clarke quay with a very funny combo once again, i wonder how we could end up in one table together. but it was nice all in all haha..
hrmm minus bao, jacob and wenjun
hrmm i was thinking about many stuff.. the family of God. pastor was right, 'home' is indeed a special word. i feel blessed. i want to make a tribute to youth:
it's the place where i 'grew up'.. from my first day joining the ss.. the time when i was unwilling to go cg cos i wanted to stay at home and watch tv.. my first cg in YS.. the challenge to rise up as a leader which i didn't want to take.. the tithe that i didn't want to make.. oh well i was quite disobedient =p
my first day ushering that led me all the way to become team leader, floor manager and eventually service manager and led the whole team hope.. my days at marcom under gloria, eve, serene.. my first official role in cg as game master.. led a disastrous pnw.. my first sheep maggie.. all the hard work in DI, days after days pioneering schools.. taught 18 lessons in chinese.. bitten by sheep a lot.. lost my good friend.. and of course the joy of finding lost souls.. a CL.. a UL.. rushing to jasmine's dmm haha.. my early days of guitar learning.. striving for cg404.. prayed like mad.
being in ywam.. tons of memories, good and bad.. served hard.. played hard.. found many who were, are and will always be close to my heart.. all the new experiences on mm, stage managing and many more..
i was at the backstage alone on the last few min of the ss yesterday and i just smiled to myself. the contract has ended and at long last i'm finally done with the youth. from where i was to where i am now.. wow.. God is faithful. really really.. faithful.
giving myself fully to the work of the Lord cos i know that my labor in the Lord is not in vain.... it shall continue on =)
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Wednesday, December 21, 2005
He makes me lie down in green pastures,He leads me beside quiet waters,
He restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for His name's sake.
1 day to the end of breakthrough fast, 4 days to christmas, 11 days to 2006.
i think i'm in crisis.. time crisis, contacts crisis, financial crisis, emotional crisis. hahaha.. christmas should be better than this. and it will be.
at the end it will all come back to my own decisions. how i want to face my life. i want to end this year well =)
recollection.
sun ss was great as well, i personally enjoyed the pnw a lot =p
we had last rehearsal for the xmas twisted fairy tale's skit, can't wait for the day man. i think we're all set.
i went for kingkong in the afternoon. aah.. very nice. i know meihwa felt depressed watching it, but i do agree with her, poor kong. i enjoyed the movie much, haven't had a good one for quite some time. peter jackson is simply brilliant. you'll get your money's worth.
full dress rehearsal was on mon and yah i can't wait for d-day too. everyone practised really hard.
yesterday afternoon nicole surprised me with a last min lunch date. i had 2 things in my mind, either she wanted to correct me (is there something wrong in my life again?) or she wanted to talk serious about someone who's related to me. anyway it turned out to be just a pure lunch, no hidden agenda. she was just bored and happened to be in the area. haha. i think sometimes i can be too suspicious.
went down to world of narnia in the evening, considering that i've broken my promise to reagan twice, by hook or by crook i just had to be there to watch them play last nite. a very short one though ><
i've just watched fruits basket again, caught this sentence:
"anyone can doubt easily. be a person who believes, that will certainly become an encouragement to someone"
how true.
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Saturday, December 17, 2005
it just felt wonderful when i reached home and my feet touched the ground, it felt even better when my head touched the pillow. what a day. just came back from nexus. it's the first xmas ss that we're having this year and my, there are so many thanksgiving points =)
thanks for all the hard work. the drama was funny (and they really practised very very hard you know), the filipino sis has really powerful voice that wowed us during song presentation, the image was surprisingly good.. very smart looking, even for the musicians. lots of saved souls! yeah that's the most important thing right? ><
shirls and me decided to reward ourselves with fish n co meal after that haha.. we had a very short and sweet SPT in the evening, full of thanksgivings. ended the day with joining the rest of the youth crowd to watch our own band + gwen in action. my my, it was so crowded and you can imagine how supportive and enthusiastic our ppl were, kept on screaming and all. but i think it was very good, i mean to sing praise songs in public (just in front of OG) like 'everybody praise the Lord', 'everyday' all these.. we're spreading the gospel and gwen did short publicity for us as well.. haha.. it was fun. well done folks.
i'm too tired to continue now. but i think i can sleep with a smile later.
a song for a thought: More faithful than I - Lincoln Brewster
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Friday, December 16, 2005
i've decided to put some guidelines here just in case anyone thinking of buying me anything, since xmas is around the corner and my bday is not that far either hahaha.. well... not that i'm asking anyone to buy me anything, but just in case you do, the last thing i want is to receive something that i don't like (though of course i'll pretend that i like it)simplicity is the key
if you realize, i am a very boring person. i like simple stuff.. all the things that i wear basically are plain one colour stuff. i am not really keen on things with too many colours or graphics or patterns.
size does matter
though i have grown fatter (sigh i just gotta admit it), i am still quite a petite person.. so big accessories can't go well with me. oversized earrings, bracelet, necklace or anything that can be worn will end up in my drawer untouched.. well mostly. i think the only big thing that i'll appreciate a lot is soft-toy, the bigger the better hahaha....
colours
actually doesn't really matter. but just for the record, my fave colour is light blue (benny's colour) i wonder why some ppl thought it's pink -_-
if you want to go for food
a nice cheesecake can definitely make my day. ritter sports rum n raisin (as most ppl know) is my fave choc =p
and of course i will not say no to dark chocs, in fact there's always a space for desserts in every meals. hahaa..
the thought within
anything can be a treasure to me if it is given with sincere thought and effort. the meaning that lies behind.
for those who are broke, good news for you. my love language is words of affirmation. so a sincere card or message can actually mean much more to me than a real gift =)
just a thought - what gift can i give to Jesus for His birthday this year?
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Tuesday, December 13, 2005
it has been a while. SIGH.i was utterly disappointed.. mostly towards myself. i think there are many who read my blog and i had no wish to share my foolish emotions, so writing on my personal diary book for the past few days was a better option.
disappointed = dis appoint God
there is a limit to my stupidity, i am determined to do whatever it takes to make it right, even if it costs me dearly.
***
i had a wonderful time with mei last monday, we went to the arabian restaurant at arab street, a unique place that's suitable for long conversation. we had a hard time finding the place as memory has started to fail mei =p i went home with very much gladness for her.
my dad came on wed so i accompanied him for yet another thai dinner, he is simply loving it. it was one of the dinner with him that i enjoyed a lot, i do hope i can really make a trip back to jakarta next month, how many years has it been...
despite of my tiredness, i decided to help candice for the carols at the old folks' home on sunday night. yingsoon, alaric, yupei, weihong and waying were there as well, besides the other church group. there was not much time to talk and interact with the residents there, but we sang a lot of carols, i believe more than 20 songs in total within almost 2 hours. it was such a meaningful and fulfilling time, i can use my life to bring joy to others after all. when i looked at them, how old and fragile they were.. and some of them might not even know what's going on, my compassion just moved me once again. i'm glad i was there.
i took leave yesterday and spent it for a short shopping with susi. by the way she got herself a new job and believe it or not, in the same office building as mine. i guess i can never run too far from her =p
met shirls in the evening and we watched pride and prejudice together, another wonderful movie though i had slight difficulty understanding it haha.. anyway i couldn't stop calling her 'my dear' since then. please do not ask me why.
another leave today and i spent it all at nexus. will be stage managing for the next xmas ss (this time will really be the last one ^^) i think justin and bao are hoping for another final farewell once our 'contracts' end.
the christmas is finally here, i cannot procrastinate anymore.
a song for a thought >> at the foot of the cross - kathryn scott
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Monday, December 05, 2005
an amusing thought-with practically nothing much to do in office, i'm quite ashamed to admit that i spent the whole day today reading a book that i borrowed from junxiong last nite (i am not slacking). somehow there's something really interesting about the book, maybe because it's real, well at least it sounds real. i've been reading too many magical and fantasy stories (well apart from bible n all the christian lit) that it's good to have a change once in a while. not sure if it's a good thing, but the book left me to think: 'what's wrong with the ppl from mars?' and shake my head. but then i bet they agree that women are the hardest thing to understand, personally i do think that the men don't get it.. never will. unless they have mel gibson's ability as how he was in 'what women want', but that's just impossible. no offence guys but that's how the way it is. you are insensitive but alas we are unreasonable.
created differently.. God has His own wonderful incomprehensible concept for creation, interesting don't you think so? well look at the bright side, brothers and sisters in church are somehow easier to bear, by God's grace =p
yesterday we had a guest speaker for sermon, since another new year is coming, he shared about how to make evaluation on your life in 2005, in terms of fruitfulness.
- all that you've done, your achievement, your performance, your ministry... who's glorified?
- your inner spiritual life... are you drying up?
- how about your characters? your level of joy?
i shall not reveal my own life evaluation here, still 26 days to go but so far for all the good and the bad.. this year has been.. unique.. God gave me a very memorable year indeed.
actually it's good for the time to stop here considering that next year i will reach 'the age' wahahhaa...
listening >> my romance - CFNI
CFNI has good worship songs
in addition. last nite i went for dinner with fen, yan, roy, jus, ron, reagan and jx. shirls felt amused with this funny combo, but actually all of us share one thing in common =)
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Friday, December 02, 2005
Day 20. wow we are halfway through the 40 days breakthrough fast!today's reflection is more on love. what can i give.. how far can i go for love?
i was watching bruce almighty the other day, i think it's nice. first, it's not that easy to be God especially when you love the ppl so much yet cannot force them to love you back. Jesus loves us so much but we hurt Him more than we love Him. that's painful. but that doesn't stop Him right? no matter what kind of answer He gets, He continues on.
second, at the end Bruce chose to pray for the best, happiness for the girl instead of he himself being with the girl. selfless love. when you love the ppl around you, the return is not important, you have to give without expecting any return, no condition. i think sometimes we are being too calculative with the ppl around us, imagine if God is being calculative with us. please do not think how much you have sacrificed for the ppl around you, if you do things out of love, it is a joy right? remember that to love is to give =)
practical: what can i do now? not just words but in actions.
those whom i love, you may present your requests to me hahaha...
YF said that i have a habit of posting lyrics up, but i can't help it, there are too many good lyrics around ^^
this is a nice one-
I woke up this morning feeling kind of blue
and I stumbled out of bed and dragged my feet across the room
Right outside my front door was a rose and a note that said 'Somebody Loves You'
But out on the street it starts to pour and before I get soaking wet
A total stranger runs to give me the jacket off his back
I turn around to thank him but he waves me with a smile
I can hardly believe my eyes
He puts on a halo and starts to fly
Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look at Paradise
You could be next to an angel in disguise
I met a good friend for lunch and we had a delicious meal
But I forgot to bring my wallet, I felt like an imbecile
But she was sweet, she gave me a treat and bought me a chicken sandwich
To take home for tea
But out on the street with nothing to eat, a man and his shopping cart go
Travelling to places, collecting social graces
I give him my sandwich and we chatter for a while
I see a rainbow wash over his eyes
He gives me his halo and I start to fly
Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for Paradise
You could be next to an angel in disguise
Don't try to hide away from me, I know you're by my side
Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for Paradise
You could be next to an angel in disguise
Everyday can be legendary, every minute, an endless surprise
You could be the next angel in disguise
I woke up this morning, feeling kind of new.
angel in disguise - corrinne may
- life is beautiful knowing that you are loved -
***
we had our first and last unit cg last nite. the truth is i was having butterflies before that, well due to the challenge given by YS to play guitar for praise ><
to screw up in front of so many ppl (mostly first time seeing them) is not really a good idea. anyway thanks YS and YF for the faith put in me haha and it did motivate me to practise more, though the songs are easy but i just have to strive for the excellence.
it was a great cg, personally i sensed something different in the worship that i haven't felt for long, like a breakthrough. YF chose the song 'amazed' again (Hope's top chart now?) she said it's my fave song haha oh well i don't deny that i like that simple beautiful song a lot.
too bad we couldn't finish the skit due to the time limit, samuel was definitely disappointed since he has practised so hard haha but i'm glad that somehow this whole snow white thing has brought all of us closer =)
taken on YS' bday celebration. not the complete cg, but i like this photo.
clockwise from top left- cindy, haydee, me, susi, eefuang, weiling, nicole n candice
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