Monday, March 28, 2005
don't know how God arranged in such a way that daniel's 'he chose the nails' by max lucado ended up with me now, finished it in half of a day, great book. i can't help to really feel touched by God's love once again, His amazing wonderful incomprehensible love.God says that we are more than conquerors, we can overcome everything.. so many things for me to overcome, things that i need to leave at the cross.. my fear, my doubt, my anxiety, my anger, my bitterness, my insecurity, my jealousy, my bad habits, my evil thoughts.. (ok now you know how imperfect and sinful i am)... it's never easy.. but it was never easy for Jesus also.
God on a cross? a split-lipped, puffy-eyed, blood-masked God on a cross? sponge thrust in his face? spear plunged in his side? dice tossed at his feet?
who am i to complain? who am i to have self-pity?
even if i can't remember anything from the book, i will remember this:
He did it for me, He did it all for me.
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Sunday, March 27, 2005
taken on ron's bday celebration =)
today is easter day! what is easter to me? it has never been as exciting as xmas, but you know what, without easter there's no point for xmas. it's the foundation of our faith.. everything! easter is not a day like any other..
it's my second easter ss in ywam, gosh am officially a year in this wonderful family. can't help to think back on my own journey. so many things that i've learnt and experienced within this one year.
great job on ss today, i'm glad to be in nexus whole day (no need to work bwahaha). good to give joe a break also, i've been counting on him a lot since i started working. anyway, we saw a lot of ppl coming and crossing the line ^^ oooh i'm feeling very fruitful today! shall rest my bones well-
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Wednesday, March 23, 2005
the castle-
after almost a month, finally.. FINALLY.. we managed to catch howl's moving castle last night ^^
that's a good one.. light and heartwarming story with great characters.. each of them gave a deep impression.. especially that howl with his nice soothing voice that blew us away ahahhah... oh well i think mei was mesmerized =p
yup this is the guy-
why do ppl love fantasy so much? i guess deep down we're all craving for a different life, life full of adventures, witch and wizards, magic... but no matter how much i enjoy those fantasy games or anime or books.. at the end of the day must wake up! we're on earth living normal life, well may not be so normal, cos we're doing things for God, which of course exciting also haha..
something funny happened last night
when i was buying the tickets-
tix seller : 5 rows from the screen?
me : that's quite front, do you have somewhere better?
tix seller : hmmm.. 5 rows from the back?
me : yeah! that's much better, i'll take those
then as we're settling down on our seats, to my horror we're sitting 5 rows from the screen!! but after that i looked back and around the whole theatre and realized that we're also 5 rows from the back -_-
................................................................
that guy (tix seller) must have had a good laugh at me, wait till i see him again~!
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Monday, March 21, 2005
yeah we've finally come into the week of easter. the exchange that enabled me to have Him in my life as my comforter and friend, led me to this wonderful family of God and brought me to a life full of joy and fulfillment. we shouldn't mourn, it's time to rejoice ppl-***
i was in for a big treat last night.
after cg, meimei, me and val walked around city hall, i would say walking aimlessly ... then we decided to look at guitars as mei bought some picks also. ooh i'd really love to get a nice acoustic for myself, something that i will definitely treasure a lot, it will be my faithful companion and i can imagine wonderful times of meeting God in my own praise and worship with it. yeah man i'm determined to make this come to pass soon! ^^
after that we joined the guys at esplanade. not planning to stay for long at first, but i think we were too lazy to move.. ended up watching the mosaic music festival. mei and val left after the 1st band (which i think very good.. they sang very well) but i forsaken my fave lotr and dinner time to stay for the 2nd band and tell ya they are fantastic! i was so impressed.. they played some instruments that i don't even know what the names are and it seems that they can play all the things there. the bassist cum vocalist looks a bit like that tay ping hui guy but who cares about the looks, he played very well.. great voice. they really enjoyed themselves on stage and seeing that made me enjoy the whole night even more.
listening >> who is like the lord-
a thought - as a leader sometimes you just have to force yourself to be sanguine and choleric
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Sunday, March 20, 2005
cool huh... makes me wanna work at squaresoft-
• • • • •
happy bday to veron (dd 3 days ago) and eugene (dd 2 days ago) haha...celebrated ron's at pizza hut just now but alas i only managed to stay for the soup then rushed for my team hope meeting. thank God for the full attendance and gabriel from uni who spared his time to clarify some things with us. tried to make the meeting short so i think i made a breakthrough by talking very fast.
but you know what, the girls are just so sweet.. they came down after the dinner to find me and passed me pizza ^^ and then we took photo.
alrite our group is growing, officially welcome daniel in =)
thinking >> i love worship
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Wednesday, March 16, 2005
it's only half way thru the week but it felt like forever.. i think it's really time for me to buck up. with so many things to do in office, really hardly have time to rest my mind, and after 10 hrs of madness i can't help to have migraine. haha.. oh well it must be because i complained for feeling bored in the past, God answers prayer. anyway i got some good advice from the director, such a nice lady. it struck me somehow, i have to be a good salt and light. fear.. a feeling that i wish can be taken away from my life forever. but i know God says do not be afraid as I am with you always.
blessed.. to start looking at all the good things around me and cherish all that i have.
***
bulletin meeting equals to food and food and food.. still not satisfied with the great dinner at pizza hut, hannah insisted on giving us earthquake treat at swensens.
steamboat next month? i think should change our name to food ministry ^^
now that 'youth' may not be in use anymore, as we've become students group, can you imagine YS -> SS and Ywam -> Swam?? ooh no.. i hope we don't have to change name.
nel and meihwa came over to my place last night, we had a very funny light talk. laughed my head off.. they reminded me that i'm only left with one year hahaha... i almost forgot how fun it was to crap with them. and all these years meihwa is still faithfully devoted to ermm something that i no longer think. she should be happy to lose me as her rival bwahaha... ok ok we're covenanted ^^
listening >> wonderwall- that comes out from me.
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Tuesday, March 15, 2005
angerthe emotion of instant displeasure on account of something evil that presents itself to our view. In itself it is an original susceptibility of our nature, just as love is, and is not necessarily sinful. It may, however, become sinful when causeless, or excessive, or protracted (Matt. 5:22; Eph. 4:26; Col. 3:8). As ascribed to God, it merely denotes his displeasure with sin and with sinners (Ps. 7:11).
a lot of things are causing me to feel displeasure deep down in my heart recently. unreasonable ppl, irresponsible behaviour. do i have it under control? well i don't really blow up in front of others.. the truth is i seek for peace in my heart from God. i mean i think we're doomed if God blows up on us all the time. i've passed the emotional period, but i really gotta say, i hate it when ppl broke promises, did not take things (especially God matters) seriously, didn't say sorry when obviously in the wrong!
i came to realization that it's really hard for me to come near God when my heart was full of hatred.. ok that's a strong word.. discontentment.. it's not the ppl, it's the actions. but i've learnt to let go and see things in a lighter way. anger is a big burden in heart, and the last thing that i want is to lose control. never let it lingers too long.. not more than 24 hrs. will feel much better when you're able to overcome it.
***
went for bb session on sun, but of course as usual i didn't play ^^ a true relationship, not because you have to go or to fulfill certain obligations but just a pure relaxing fun moments with ppl that you really enjoy being with. pearls mentioned about times when some relationship around us feels a bit fake.. the way you care about your cg ppl, your sheep, your new believers, your contacts.
true.. i guess that's the last thing that we wanna see in our lives.. but i know for sure that this family of God that i have now.. all are sincere in loving me as who i am, not because of what i've done. we made a pact, we will still be good friends even when she needs to go overseas or migrate one day, even when we move on to adults, to attend one another's wedding if the day really comes hahah, all of us will be friends even till we meet God.
listening >> will you remember me - corrinne may
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Friday, March 11, 2005
series of unfortunate events is really not bad indeed but if there's one thing that caught my mind, that would be the ending where the narrator commented on no matter how unfortunate these 3 siblings are, as long as they have one another, they're fortunate. yeah... no matter how unfortunate i think i am, as long as i have God and this amazing family around me, i'm fortunate indeed ^^
susi mentioned some things after the movie. funny things.. made me wonder for a moment if she's trying to say it's time for her to move on or it's my time to move on.. haha.. oh well anyway it's not.. not yet.. though it's just a matter of time. our fave place to have serious conversation - mrt. that's a good place.
i've been watching movie EVERY WEEK! man... somebody stops me. just watched hitch with the group on sunday, the day when i turned to a mute. there are times that you just don't feel like talking, and actually it felt quite good not to open my mouth.. i may get used to this.
thinking if i've been thinking too much about too many things that my white hair came out.
oh joel's going to army today.. but actually he'll be out again in no time. =)
• • • • •
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
what do parents think when the children have grown up? i wonder what my dad thinks everytime he sees me and shirls, how we have grown up so much in a blink of an eye. last night he was recalling some of his past 'interesting' stories. 20 years... i remember those days..'teddy bear' dresses, playing cooking in my old house' back garden, the fierce doberman, the red carpet in living room... i was so fair and plump and yah i can shamelessly say that i was extremely cute at that time haha. wonder if my dad is sad seeing me so dark and skinny now. i gave him a hug before i left the house today, can't help to think that he's not that young anymore, and yeah i am scared of losing him one day. but no one knows God's plan, i may be leaving earlier than him. life is unpredictable and i just wanna live with no regrets-
thinking a lot... feeling a lot...
looking at the cg roster... ooooh i have butterflies in my stomach....
• • • • •
Saturday, March 05, 2005
i am in the state of half-consciousness now, but wanna put this down first:to what you've contributed for the kingdom-
meiting, minghon and yuhui.. without you guys i wouldn't last till the end of 3 ss today
peter, tim and alvin.. took care of your ministry so well that i didn't need to worry
sp ppl.. who did a great job in housekeeping today, trained your servanthood right?
huimin.. whose heart and mind are constantly with the holy comm, though you're very busy.. managed to handle the whole thing at the end, all went well (take a deep breath...phew... ^^)
great to see the uni ppl, can imagine great days ahead as we serve together.
alright i think i need to lie down.. thank God for this wonderful day indeed, and to those who were together with me in serving all 3 ss.. hang in there guys =)
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Thursday, March 03, 2005
phew finally got time to do this.. hate to admit but boy i'm so glad that nobody's in office now haha... wanna share something first...i'm reading this book 'the love languages of God' by gary chapman that talks a lot bout the 5 love languages - words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service and physical touch.
the more i read, the more i'm convinced that i fall to the words of affirmation category. those who know me well should know, i'm a person who can be influenced a lot by words. you just need words to make me float with joy, yet can make me fall very badly too.
words are powerful, i won't forget those encouragement, affirmation or just assurance given by the ppl around me, but alas i can't really forget words that hurt me before too.
my greatest comfort will be the word of God, in my most fearful time God tells me not to cos He's with me always (Joshua), when i start to doubt, God says i have to stand firm in my faith (Isaiah, Hebrews,etc) and many many more. it's amazing how God can meet my basic need to feel loved thru His words, and i'm loving him thru my words too, my praise and thanksgiving..
to me, nothing can beat the right word. so sometimes ppl, though you may not think much about it, but your words can make my day and bring me to tears. i take every single word seriously.. does this make you think twice before you say something to me? =)
what's your love language?
*****
my dad came on sunday, had thai dinner again (all time fave) and then we went for 'million dollar baby' with shirls too of course. the movie is really not bad and i realized to make a good movie, you must have certain tragedy or death inside.. something that makes you shake your head.. well anyway it does deserve an oscar. do catch it if you can..
been doing video editing this week, it was very funny on monday. i reached nexus to realize that the filipino group was having combined dmm in auditorium, they were watching a video. as i tried to focus on my own video n the colour effects i was immediately distracted by what they're watching -i kissed dating goodbye video series by joshua harris- ... my... that guy's just soo hilarious.. i couldn't focus on my own video already.. ended the day with not much editing done hahah...
went back to do last night, this time without distraction, well except for dinner with roy and joel. they told me somethin that i really believed, which actually not true of course -_- no wonder ppl say i'm an easy target to be bluffed.
you know, i got this pic of shirls and me as my hp wallpaper, and roy loves to comment how loving we are, i told shirls bout it and she decided to take a pic of us strangling one another instead. so we tried.. she was actually pulling my hair while i strangled her, took 3 times but they didn't look very nice hahaha so at the end we gave up and deleted them... ok i think we're nuts.
this sat is the long-awaited 3rd ss. it's like a new beginning, with more room for growth. how will the ywamers survive this? well we can start with a good sleep on fri night i suppose...
thinking >> i am not alone
listening >> your love endures.
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