i've been thinking a lot on leaving this place.. recently. was talking to cara the other day and she gave me an idea to take up english teaching course that may be able to secure my life if i ever live overseas.. in latin countries.. or even perhaps third world countries. i don't know if i can survive there but just thinking on what kind of experiences that i'll have makes me excited. spore is great but i started to think that my life is doomed here.
had a talk with a friend yesterday, a very amusing conversation. it gave me a realization that i could be such a blockhead. there are many things in life that i never seriously consider and years just passed me like that. i'm going to be a quarter of a century soon. so i went home and talked to shirls about my so called idea. i wonder how my parents would react.. oh well, it's not going to happen anytime soon anyway, first i need to get my PR here and save some money, take up some courses, and perhaps i'll try to find a life companion who is willing to go for this adventure with me.. LOL.
i went to bed with lots of things in my mind and strangely i dreamt of death once again. i have no idea why death likes to visit my dreams so much. this person whom i've been holding dear was lying on the hospital bed and dying.. giving me some last words. it's really terrible.. i cried and cried.. i woke up and kept on crying in the toilet, not even knowing why. it's not even real. i guess it's just the fear of losing. perhaps. so i told myself, "get a grip livi, you don't want to show ppl your swollen eyes" i should have read the bible before i slept.
i saw hannah the moment i stepped into office this morning. she's back from her long holiday in england, her face glowed as she told me that she's pregnant. wow i am so happy for her.. it's like.. finally! cecilia was trying to give her all the food list that she needs to avoid and it's just so funny seeing them. i couldn't help but to smile. i entered my room and kris was there waiting for me, she's thinking of finding another job that can suit her better. i had a talk with her about directions in life, enjoying job, having a fulfilled life. and the talk reminded me as well.