Tuesday, October 31, 2006
the dinner specially for dear samuel.
how blessed he is. LOL.
i collected my guitar back from the shop yesterday! finally. i think it's been months since the last time i played it (as i've been playing on mei's taylor).
just thinking.. i can be such a lousy friend. so disappointing.
• • • • •
Sunday, October 29, 2006
i choked on my own saliva a few mins ago. it's just dumb, my throat is suffering badly now.oh well. anyway one week has passed again.
yesterday i did a few errands.
brought my guitar out for 'repair'. made a trip to simlim to upgrade my RAM. did some research on digital camera's price there as well. been thinking a lot about which model that i want to buy. for something that expensive, i will do thorough comparison and buy the most suitable one. regret should not be in my dictionary for this.
i think it was quite a fruitful day especially cos i ended it with mei hahaa.. at last we could squeeze a day for proper shepherding.
hardly slept last nite but i managed to reach nexus very very early today. so i spent quiet time at the empty isle cafe (7 am something), it felt great. the most important thing is i managed to attend the prayer meet from the beginning ><
the word for the day- 'holiness' - 1 Peter.
chosen by God. set apart for God.
listening >> Assuredly Yours - Paradise
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Friday, October 27, 2006
there is this old guy in malaysia who was not feeling well one day, so he went to the doctor. the pharmacist prescribed him antibiotic and thus told him "you have to finish them all ok, or you won't get better!"so he went back home and finished all the antibiotic.. at one go.
he almost died.
when he was asked afterwards about this, he said "i am just following the instruction to finish them all"
this is a real story, no bluff.
when you follow an instruction blindly, by just doing the action without even asking why and how, you tend to get the wrong result.
i had a good talk with my boss this morning, it was a rare opportunity considering that she's seldom around in office. she mentioned about having purpose in everything that we do, especially at work. when we lose the main purpose, everything become monotonous, routine, administrative, boring, etc.. whatever you can think of.
why are we doing what we're doing?
behind all those typing and printing and checking stock, there is a meaning. do not come to a point that you come to office, just do do do do until you go home. it's not just about receiving pay at the end of the month... it's about enjoying the work! we are indirectly changing the lives of many.
the question is not just what to do. it is why we do.
when we are called by God to do certain things, we may not understand fully why and how, but at least there is the assurance in heart that God is there and He will reveal to us in due time. i know that there are many who do not enjoy the work, can totally understand it (i've been there) but i guess there is always something that we can learn from whatever situation that God gives us. i learnt a lot from my previous hell company.
why am i in this job? why am in this family? why am i in this church? why am i in this ministry? why am i in this relationship? why am i in this country? why am i living the way i live now?
last nite joe suddenly asked me some questions about life in adults group and church planting. when i asked him why, he mentioned that he just wanted to think about his plan in life, his purpose in God.
i guess nowadays more and more ppl are beginning to think of the future seriously. it's a sign of maturity =)
i had this same conversation with susi few days ago as well. she's trying to find her real calling in life.
i think i know what i want but i don't know what God has in store for me, there may be a change of direction. so... i will just live my life to the best today. let tomorrow worry about itself.
• • • • •
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
i feel fat and broke.just came back from double feast.
today is eric and nicole's wedding, for the first time in my life i attended a church wedding ceremony ><
i met susi to go together, it's amusing seeing one another in golden and yellow attire.. guess we just wanted to look bright in this joyous occasion.
we reached there very early, saw lots of familiar faces (of course). many of the gals were in pink, made the whole place very sweet. anyway really congrats to both, very emotional couple considering that they cried a lot =)
i think the whole ceremony made me think.. the purity of wedding, a real meaning of relationship, the seriousness of commitment for life. glorifying God.
it's not for fun.
sometimes we always joke about crushes or getting into relationship but it's really much more than that. it is not easy to balance and most of all, to glorify God. if you are seriously not ready for all the commitments, don't even think of going into one.
ppl told me that i'll be going to more and more wedding ceremonies in the future, haha.. true, though those are going to cost me a lot, it's just a great thing witnessing such an important decision made come to pass.
please don't ask me when my turn is.. it's really in God's hand. i wanna keep a positive thought though the future is seemingly quite bleak =p
the second feast of the day would be samuel's farewell dinner.
17 of us cramped into one long table at heritage, the north indian restaurant at sixth avenue. the place was surprisingly comfortable and the food's nice too. i like their weird green chilli, wanted to buy one bottle home.
samuel had a great time i think >< we all affirmed him and he tried to affirm us also, especially his beloved cg members lolx.
we're really going to miss him, no joke. we took quite a few pics, hope to post them here soon.
anyway it's not really going to be the end, i know he'll come back one day to visit us. meanwhile God's hand will continue to be upon him, wherever he is.
thinking - how wonderful it is to be part of a church community.
• • • • •
Sunday, October 22, 2006
i sleep when i shouldn't and do not sleep when i should. went to watch death note last nite, the biggest auditorium at cathay was literally fully booked but thank God we got very good seats.
shall not mention the story line here but i'd say that i was quite disappointed. the movie is nowhere as cool as the original manga/anime. i had to keep reminding myself not to complain as i was watching it.
i'm sad to see the main character lacking the cool factor.. haiz.
oh well, i think ppl would enjoy the movie IF they do not compare it with the original. it's still a good story plot after all.
for those who are very interested, i would recommend the anime (trust me, it's 100x better than the movie), you can download it at 'www.anime-source.com'
today we wanted to have a farewell lunch for samuel as he's flying off to vietnam soon. alas, due to lack of ppl and erm other reason, we kinda cancelled the plan. i think he is really an interesting one, never seen anyone as straight-forward as he is, honest or being blunt? lolx.
i wonder how he feels about leaving..
i wonder what kind of farewell i would receive if i go for church planting in the future, 3 days feast of jap food and cheesecakes? hahaha.. just kidding. farewell is about the ppl, not food.
gonna miss his presence here, but i'm pretty sure his business venture will thrive there.
it's still oct but the plan for next year's camp is out, talking about efficiency. i think the place is really better and more comfy, well price goes up as well..
june camp.. kinda excited thinking about it.. but seriously, it's still 8 months away.
i have heard so many songs.. listened to a thousand tongues
but there is one that sounds above them all
eternity it's writen on my heart.. heaven's perfect melody~
• • • • •
Saturday, October 21, 2006
I myself always strive to have a conscience without offense toward God and men. -Acts 24:16Built into our nature is an internal judicial system, the conscience, that commends us when we do right and condemns us when we do wrong. But this vital monitor of morality does not say the same thing to everyone. In some cultures vengeful killing is seen as honorable. In others, a person is still considered good even when he betrays a friend.
A story from The Philadelphia Inquirer illustrates this problem. A 12-year-old boy was caught stealing a watch. He told police that previously he had shoplifted a gift for his mother, and he felt he had to do the same for his dad. Although troubled about slighting his father, he had no qualms about stealing.
Because of sin, conscience is unreliable and needs a continual adjustment. This begins with a right relationship to God through faith in Jesus Christ. He paid sin's penalty, and now our hearts are "sprinkled from an evil conscience" (Heb. 10:22). But this does not make conscience obsolete. As we study the Scriptures, the Holy Spirit puts our inner monitor on a frequency that brings us in tune with the words, deeds, and attitudes of the Lord Jesus.
"Let your conscience be your guide" is valid only if God's Word is guiding your conscience. -Dennis J. De Haan
listening >> homesick - mercy me
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Friday, October 20, 2006
it's been a week of cleaning up. there was one morning (around 2 am) that shirls suddenly wanted to clean the whole room, so we threw some stuff away and made more space in the room for the new wardrobe that i've just purchased today (finally). i think i'm going to have a great time re-arranging my stuff to the new wardrobe.. feeling so sleepy.. last nite vannessa came to cg, LOL. as we had supper together,i reached home quite late. then germs suddenly called and once again we had an almost 2 hrs conversation. i think she's the only person who could talk on the phone that long with me. most of my phone conversation are less than 5 mins.
right after that, my cousin from indonesia wanted to talk to me thru the msn, he's planning to come here to study (lasalle) and tried to get as much information as he could from me.
it will be very amusing if he's really coming. this cousin of mine is the kind of guy who's always surrounded by girls =p
anyway with all the talking i ended up sleeping at 3 am.
work has been good. more and more things are piling up but i'm enjoying every bit of them.
i got to know my colleagues better as well. that is the most important thing.
shuz came to look for me on thu, we had lunch together hehe.. actually i'm free for lunch date to anyone who happens to be at orchard area during lunch hour. early reservation is encouraged though.
listening >> Reflections of Passion - Yanni live at The Acropolis
one day i SHALL stand at The Acropolis! save money.. save money.....
• • • • •
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
it's just funny. i was feeling alrite when i left office but the moment i reached nexus for the wam vision nite, my body temperature kept on rising, by the time pnw started, i think i was partially in dream land. could hardly concentrate with my head spinning. meihwa was leading and she said let those who are sick be healed. i was really hoping that it could be done right away. but that was not the case. haha.
yan yan is so sweet.. she happened to sit beside me so she gave me a massage (and she is a good massager). i should have known that fever would come whenever i have flu. felt really dead.
but then when i walked back home, i felt fine again.. hahaa.. so it's a delayed healing? anyway now that i'm home, i feel much better.. no more fever. it's just weird.
anyway i'm done with anniversary project! thank You Lord!
• • • • •
giving myself a break before i knock off, been doing inventory check for the past few days, counting and counting and counting. the air con is freezing here, i must be crazy for not bringing my jacket out.i've been thinking a lot about my finance recently. how much do i have now, how much will i have by next month or next year, what i need to buy, what i want to buy, how much money will i have left?
it's actually fun planning my own expenditure, provided i really stick to it. most of the time i'd exceed. haiz.
xmas is coming and i am starting to think of gifts that i'll buy for certain ppl. i guess the best part of the season (besides celebrating Jesus' bday) is buying gifts for one another. it's good to receive but it's even better to give.
i met josh on the train again last nite, been bumping into her a lot nowadays. we talked bout the old days, when i was unwilling to go to cg meeting.. HAHA.. so fun.
alrite i shall go off now.
gosh i haven't touched my guitar for very long. should do some prac tonite...
creative.. hmm..
• • • • •
Sunday, October 15, 2006
finding the right way to live.huurr i am a bit tired. honestly.
on the other hand, i think it has been one of my most fulfilling week.
finally found time and energy to put my thoughts down~
first of all, i am starting to love my job more and more. it's really a blessing from God. there are many things to do everyday, tiring but not stressful.. i really enjoyed all the 'projects' that were thrown to me last week. you know the feeling of seeing the result of your hard work being appreciated and affirmed by your boss is just great. personally i am satisfied with what i have done as well hahahaa.. oh well..
spent my mon nite in nexus.
went for video editors gathering on tue nite. we found out that steven's pic has been chosen and published in photo magazine. it's a very nice pic of morning sky.. the comments given by the magazine are very positive as well. good for him.
steven told us that once we've started our journey as an editor, do not look back.
i think it's very time-consuming and tiring that sometimes you just want to throw the towel in. why must i spend so much time and effort on this?
but this is the road that i've chosen, God has chosen for me. seeing the end product that can make an impact and a difference to others.. like what justin said, it's a pain but rewarding.
yeah.. so i will gambate!! LOL. xmas project after anniversary.
went to the gym with weiling on wed nite, i was not very willing at the beginning but i know she'd strangle me if i didn't go. my arms were aching like mad for the past few days, did too much of the 'pull-up' thing...
spent my thu nite in nexus.
spent my fri nite in nexus. realized that i made a mistake.. started to feel stressed..
woke up very late on sat.. i went to the sub-D games day at SMU in the afternoon, it's a good time to let go and have fun. nicole brought 5 visitors, amazing. the whole event was successful.
thanks to victor for leading us in this event, it's my privilege to be part of the committee as well.
after that i spent the nite in nexus again, but this time together with huili. she is really the angel sent by God. we decided to change the whole video and kinda started from scratch again, to make it simple.
halfway, she decided to make a trip down to coffee bean and she bought me a slice of cheesecake back! so sweet of her (T_T)
i enjoyed talking to her, she mentioned on how much she appreciate all those clips and videos that we see nowadays, simply because behind all those there are many hours, days and weeks of hard work. true.. true..
i need to learn to be more efficient, more practice will enable me to finish the project faster.
been spending some time with veron as well, as she's always the one to lock nexus up for me. i can say with much gladness in my heart that this young girl has grown so much compared to last year. it's just amazing seeing her now =)
trust me, focusing on God and His kingdom makes life more bearable and enjoyable.
• • • • •
Sunday, October 08, 2006
i almost forgot how tough it is to complete an editing project. part of me started to think that i won't be able to finish the editing nicely on time. it seems like a simple one but as i spent more than 6 hrs at nexus on fri for not even a quarter of the video, it came upon me that i need help, badly T_T
steven gave me a short training and lent me some videos on adobe, from the simple to the complicated. i can still hear his voice "as you do, ask God to give you the wisdom and creativity"
not just doing, but do it to my best. must look nice, appealing, creative, satisfying.
gosh, this is just so scary.
i'm glad that i can learn more things nowadays though, it's almost like going back to school. lolx. i was once a media student after all.
thoughts for this weekend:
- God is always on time
- staring at the pc for 6 hours straight gives you headache, rest!
- ikea is quite a good place to shop, not really the cheapest though
- do not wake up late and you'll save on cab money
- start to plan your finance from now on (spend more wisely)
- it's time to really exercise again, you are getting fat seriously
- don't ever stop growing in God.
visited alex today.. good as always.
next appointment with him -> Feb 2007.
ok. time to sleep, time to work.
• • • • •
Thursday, October 05, 2006
just bid another anime farewell. sad.it's funny that sometimes a story is rated based on how the ending is. personally i love beautiful ending. beautiful ending is not about all happily together forever, but it's more on things that touch my heart, remain in my mind.
i like 'honey and clover' a lot. it's simply about life.
what is the meaning of a failed love? what is your dream and how to reach it?
sacrifice, friendship and farewell.
that farewell is not always bad, there is a beautiful farewell.
who said anime is just an entertainment? it's more than that ><
recently a lot of ppl have been talking bout 'death note', i wonder how they squeeze the long complicated manga to a 2-hours movie.. it's quite impossible. i'm pretty sure the movie won't be as good as the original manga =p
i think it will be fantastic if one day they can do the same to 'gantz'.. surely going to be the most cool jap movie. haha. that manga is sick.
ok i need to focus back on my post anniversary project. looking at the photos makes me confused. think this is quite cool..
• • • • •
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
what a week. there are a few things that i really wanna thank God for.
i'm not sure how many ppl really know about my long battle with the government and i do not wish to explain it in details here, but, after 3 1/2 years.. that battle HAS finally ended. LOL.
sometimes things are just put by God in a very funny way, when i think back of how my own life journey is, i am just so amazed.
i was clearing up my mailbox a few days ago and i saw an email from ps jeff dated 21 Aug 2003. felt very encouraged once again when i read it. it says:
Hi Livi,
I am proud of the way you had handled the present job search. You have shown courage and faith and a strong desire of God's best for the church. Thanks for modeling Christ-likeness to many of us. We were all in awe by what God has been doing through you. Fundamentally, the building blocks of the church is not money, bricks & mortars but yielded lives to Jesus. Yielded lives are the only and best building materials for God's house!
Thanks for being a building block.
i brought that thought along with me as i made my trip back to indonesia during the weekend. it's not for me to feel proud of myself or something, but i'm just glad that my life is not for my own. what i've gone through can be an example or a living testimony of God's greatness, there's nothing else i can ask for. i shall boast of Him because it is true, there's just no way i could persevere and stay strong with my own strength.
anyone may say that God is not real but no one can deny that He is real in MY life.
that is the truth.
the trip turned out to be a fruitful one. i stayed at my uncle's house and was quite free to do my own thing. spent a lot of time reading (totally enjoyed it) and talking to my aunt as well. it was the first time we really talked for hours, she shared to me about all her worries on her children. there are just many bad things going on in the family and it came upon me that she IS a strong mother. it's never been easy to be a mother.
i did a lot of thinking as well, trying to get 'assurance' from God about my own perseverance.. started to wonder again if i was on the right track. gosh, i really do not like the feeling of anxiety and doubt. but at the end, after much prayer and calculation, i knew that i had to continue on with my faith.
came back to spore and i received the good news on monday... simply lost for words ><
thanks to all who keep me in prayer and rejoice together with me.. really really... it's comforting to know that i am never alone.
it's just a blessing in my life that i have people who can share my joy and my sorrow.
ended the blessed day with a good jap dinner ahaha.. kept my promise to give dave a bday treat though it's already very belated. nevertheless, it's a good time spent =)
yesterday was another great day, i decided to make a trip down to the eastern side of the town for a nice curry fish head lunch (thanks for the treat eugene). after that we indulged in irresistable dazs' rum n raisin ice cream hahaa so fattening.. and of course thanks roy for your kind hospitality, your house is a good place to slack =p
went for the media gathering at bbhq in the evening. steven gave us another teaching on parable of talents. been hearing this a lot recently, God is trying to make a clear point.. whatever you have, use it. do not think that you can't do anything for the kingdom.
lastly, just wanna praise God for His protection over my family. i've just found out that my parents got into a car accident back in indo, the car was badly damaged but they were not hurt at all, not even a scratch.
when my dad told me over the phone, i just knew that it was God. i really pray that thru this incident they can be closer to Him.
what a blessing.
i'm going to have a few days off this week, decided to rest well at home and maybe do a few things that i haven't been able to find time to do, like shopping for furniture haha.
this week will be the best time to ask me out.
listening >> heaven in my heart - hillsong
if i could see beyond the sky, reach above the stars..
but for now i close my eyes and pray, lift my hands and sing.
Jesus You're my Saviour. You are heaven in my heart.
• • • • •