~~grace~~ ~ ~ g r a c e ~ ~


Wednesday, May 31, 2006


lily (one of my colleague) asked me this afternoon: "why are you so afraid of him?"
am i really? maybe.. i found myself stammering and having cold sweat with boss around. i am so hopeless, why am i so afraid? told myself to be strong thousands of times, but the real application is like.. hard. hahaa.. my God should be bigger than anything.
anyway today is a good day. somehow i managed to have a light conversation with boss at the end of the day, he's actually a nice guy and i am starting to love my company. i love the job that i'm doing, HR is a very interesting line, got to know and talk to a lot of ppl. though there are a no of unpleasant colleagues and yeah they can be very unpleasant, most of the ppl there are nice. it's very encouraging when they talked to me to "support" and "comfort" me, sharing thoughts and such.
zoe (my other colleague) told me yesterday that she really admired how i could persevere on, she wanted me to stay on cos it's rare to have a nice HR around hahaha.. oh my i am so flattered.. she made my day =)
i know why God put me here, to make a difference. i am not going to give up no matter how bad it is and i'll let the ppl in the company see how i survive. i pray that God let me be the first HR to stay for at least a year.. let me break the curse once and for all.. lolx.

i met an old woman on my way home today, she just suddenly talked to me and wanting to share the gospel. it's quite amazing.. since we took the same bus home, i just let her say her thoughts. she shared about how God has shown her miracles for the past 50 years (she is 70+ now) and also some bible verses that encourage her.. i actually enjoyed talking to her.. so old but full of zeal. she's attending trinity church, and i could really see her passion in passing the good news.
she gave me this advice out of the blue even without me sharing anything: "working life can be real tough, just claim your authority and power from God, nothing to fear of, our 'boss' is bigger"
God is using a stranger to remind me. yeah.

tmw is cg day! it's been a while. i went out for dinner with nic and vannessa last nite, with her shepherd n cl as well. she's an interesting one, she loves blood+ hahaa.. so she was so happy knowing that i love that anime too, so we do have something in common. oh well.. i gotta stop here, lots of things to do.

*livi* 11:05 PM

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Monday, May 29, 2006


lolx i cannot remember what i have been doing.. today is really really weird.. when i was prepared to lose it, God preserved it for me. yeah whatever You have prepared for me Lord..
collected my pass! i don't know how long before i move on again, there's a small voice within me saying that the time will come soon.. but as i said, i am prepared. not going to let anything take away my joy.

i have quite a no of nice colleagues and thankfully i am placed together with the marketing and design dept, a bunch of creative and friendly ppl - bill, shei, justin and aidal. the most peaceful dept. well definitely better than the accounts or sales dept.
just talked to them bout the upcoming DnD, it's interesting.

i went to watch xmen3 with weiling n junhuang on sat nite. weird combination? hahaa.. we are cg mates after all and i enjoy being with them. didn't sleep at all that nite, was doing the slides for ss and some other things as well.. i am still sleepy until now.

*livi* 11:03 PM

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Thursday, May 25, 2006


i started to think that posting me to lobam will be better.
oh well. i am still alive.
yesterday i had a serious talk with boss and i'm amazed how i could pull through, he fired me lolx. but anyway i managed to preserve the job, for now. at the end of the day, i was labelled as the strange girl by him, he declared that i was the first person who refused to be fired even after all the scolding and terrible OT. from the record i found out that there's always someone (or more) resigned from my company each month.. last month more than 5 ppl resigned.. ok this is getting more confidential, i shall not say anymore. it's funny how things worked out at the end.

i think my tiredness and troubles were written all over my face that the duck rice seller had to cheer me up when i went there late night. he tried to make a joke, i was so puzzled but smiled nevertheless, then he said i looked very gloomy so he just wanted to check if i could smile. HAHAHA..
somehow he made me feel much better.. maybe he's an angel in disguise.
my dad came last nite as well, so i had a good talk with him. he gave me lots of good advice and suddenly i realized that he is a really wise man (except for his illogical reasoning on God), really enjoyed the talk with him and yeah he reminded me that lousy job or lousy boss is everywhere. i have to continue on learning and challenging myself.

thinking >> being respected vs taken for granted

*livi* 12:16 AM

• • • • •


Monday, May 22, 2006


sigh.. what a crap.
i hate my job. i'm sorry Lord but i really do. the only thing that keeps me going on is the pass. i don't know how i can love working in my new company, but i remember God's faithfulness and His blessing. maybe it's just another test.. there is a purpose in everything.. God gave me this, there's gotta be a purpose.
staying back for 14 hours, received countless scolding and humiliation, lots of unreasonable acts.. i know i am complaining but i just got to release this. what on earth does he want actually?!
"you are a nice girl" and "you are tough" .. that's what my boss told me before i left. HA.. didn't quite compensate seriously. but anyway.. sigh.. ok la.. i'm going to stop here.

pray and put on a smile.

*livi* 11:26 PM

• • • • •


Sunday, May 21, 2006


blessed are those who are still studying. treasure it man!
last week has been a good one, as it was my second week working at lobam. realized that the dorm was not that very bad after all and i got to know the ppl much much better, boss was in a much better mood as well. i thank God that i had more time to read the bible there and sleep. it's just unusual for me to sleep more than 8 hrs daily, but i did.
this stressful job has definitely make me closer to God, there's a need to pray constantly =)

did anyone really think that i have left spore for good? it's an amusing thought hehe..
God has been so faithful and when His will is there, everything just fall into the right place. i got my employment pass earlier last week and it was just amazing that it only took 5 days for the government to approve. i couldn't really believe it when i held the letter, it's amazing.
incomprehensible.
i just pray that i can really do this job well and hang on to it. maybe i can get a PR thru this company... then i don't need to desperately marry a sporean guy to stay in this country lolx.
the Lord is good. and i should and will praise Him no matter what.

after receiving nic's approval, i am officially volunteering myself to be part of the video editors team.. haha.. i am so excited! i've decided to put the choir dream to one side and focus on the mm side. really have to thank wenjun, justin and stanley who taught me video editing last time. going for training next week and i'm so glad that i will be able to learn much more from steven.

listening >> broken vow - josh groban
simply love the guy.

*livi* 10:44 PM

• • • • •


Sunday, May 14, 2006


i told myself a lot of times not to complain, but i really can't help it. sigh.
my right eye is swollen once again, can't believe it. guess the dirty and dusty environment is not suitable for my contact lenses and i'm just suffering for it now. this is just one of the price that i have to pay for my new job.
i'm back in spore for weekend now and the first thing that i found out was chris being kicked out of american idol. so dumb.. sigh.. i missed one episode and this is what happened. i don't feel like watching the show anymore man.
ok enough said. anyway God is still good, i shall not complain. nicole reminded me a lot on how God has blessed me till today. i couldn't agree more and i guess that's what motivated me to endure all the nonsense that i face in my new job. my boss is a schizo hahaa...

surprisingly i met someone from hope there. i was eating with some of my colleagues and there's this one guy called michael saying grace before the meal. so i asked him if he's a christian and which church does he go. when he said hope of god, i was like "get real! me too!"
apparently he's attending the 2nd ss, jory's group. that's amazing, what a coincidence. i had the chance to talk about christianity with some other ppl there too, God just opened a way for us to talk about Him. they were quite curious about it and discussing bout davinci code n gospel of judas (hot topic right now) as well. it is true that God is moving everywhere =)

i came back here with bernard on fri nite, a very interesting guy. glad that thru out the week i got to know lots of ppl well. and yes believe it or not, i played basketball with them in one of the night (they forced me!!) it was so hilarious, my team won the game though of course i didn't contribute much, everyone should know that i'm extremely lousy in this kind of ball game =p anyway it was a breakthrough.

i went for poseidon with weiling and susi last nite, for once susi didn't fall asleep lolx. we've learnt a few things from the movie, to survive one must be slim and know how to swim (able to hold your breath for long). that's a good motivation to lose weight.
i shall rest for now, it's gonna be a long week again from tmw onwards.

thinking >> lots of ppl have changed.. have i changed?
things can never be the same.

*livi* 6:06 PM

• • • • •


Wednesday, May 10, 2006


oh my.. i am sitting in a very run down internet cafe with lots of mosquitos flying around but yet surprisingly a very fast internet connection. haha.. guess i have to thank God. didn't expect to find a place to come online here anyway. yeah i am at lobam, alive and kicking. just in case you're wondering, i'm being sent here by my new company to check on the human resources. 3 days here yet it felt like 3 months. not that it is very very bad, but it's just out of the world, somehow. life has been very exciting here, getting to know diff kind of ppl, etc etc.. long story.

i went to the office on monday morning, realized that there would be 3 other ppl going with me and they are all indonesians, 2 are actually students from NTU doing intern. we were placed at this training room to learn bout the company and some mechanical process which i still don't understand till now. i mean i'm doing HR, why should i know bout engineering stuff.. but anyway it's still a good learning.
after that we just rushed to the ferry terminal with boss, no time for lunch whatsoever and we started work once we reached here.
it came upon me within these few days that i am working under a tyrant hahaha... oh man.. all of us are like the apprentice, facing donald trump in the board room. it is stressful yet exciting. you won't know what kind of questions you'll receive and you gotta be really wise in answering. not to mention to do your job real fast and precise. i think my life will be cut short.

why is it so interesting here?
this place is basically industrial area. there's nothing except factories and small shops.. well of course with some eating places. it is so hot here and lots lots lots of mosquitos, no cockroaches though lolx.
i wore shirt, pants n heels on day 1, bad move. i learnt my lesson. t-shirt, jeans n slippers are the right attire.
the factory is really interesting. i am handling almost 300 employees in here alone (not including spore) gosh God really gave me a big challenge. i learnt a lot.. still learning.. met a lot of interesting ppl, made some new friends..
there are some students having attachment here, 2 from NTU, 5 from TP. nice ppl.. haha.. we went for meals a few times together. besides them, the ppl who are working here are nice too.. some of them studied in spore before, lots of NTU grads doing engineering here. feeling very grateful to have them around.. makes a lot of diff.

do you know how they describe this place? or rather this company? a commando training camp. our big boss is a super tyrant, he came, he scolded and he left. the dorm that we are staying is like a refugee camp.. 20 over ppl.. over populated.. look at the queue for the toilet man hahaa... we are all cramped together. the rules in the company are very strict and we really work hard, no time to slack at all.
one of the engineer said this when he just met me "how long do you think you will last in this company?" hahahaa... apparently lots of HR resigned (or maybe fired) before.. why? no one told me cos they didn't want to scare me hahahaa... why am i laughing.. cos this job is so challenging. fun.
ok la.. the job is not that bad. the living condition here is not that bad. i can bear with all these, i'm receiving high pay anyway. besides, this is really like a good moulding, in case i'm really going for church planting in africa next time.

thank you lord for being here with me, for giving me joy! i even had time to watch a korean movie on my new friend's laptop last nite.. hey nice show.. il mare or something. and i have plenty of time to sleep here since there's no other entertainment and feeling tired. we all agreed that this company really makes us disciplined and trained. so i guess it is indeed the perfect job that God gave.

i think i'll continue next time, i'm not sure how long more i need to stay here. but i will survive. lolx. and to those who are worried, i am doing real fine here, lots of friends here.
good bye mosquitos, i wanna go back and have a nice cold shower.. phew~

*livi* 8:37 PM

• • • • •


Sunday, May 07, 2006


haha actually i can still blog.

today we practised on unity in cg ><
i'm really glad that my cg is bonding better and better as time goes. we certainly spent a lot of time praying for one another and outing here n there as well. maybe somehow it's easier for us considering that more than 80% of the members came from youth. anyway today after ss, we went to marina square and tried to find a gift for shufen together. it was not an easy job but very fun..
i'm so glad that i have a cg that really cares about one another, i could see it clearly recently and i know it will stay like that or even more, as God continues to dwell among all of us =)

gosh i spent so much within these 3 days! last nite went out with susi and mandy again, we went to changing appetites and surprisingly the food's really nice. mandy really loves to talk.. well i mean sharing..
both of them were very excited with the plan on going to MOS next week, of course with shufen n weiling (gals nite out?)... so i told them honestly that i don't like this kinda place, noisy. i appreciate jazz bar much much more, where you can really enjoy the music.
mandy had this funny look on her face and asked "how old are you?"
-_-"
i am not old. sigh.
surely i can find someone who can appreciate together with me haha..

listening >> the prayer - josh groban & charlotte church

I pray you'll be our eyes, and watch us where we go,
And help us to be wise, in times when we don't know
Let this be our prayer, as we go our way
Lead us to a place, guide us with your grace
To a place where we'll be safe...

*livi* 7:31 PM

• • • • •


Saturday, May 06, 2006


what my God can do.

phew.. my stomach is really painful now but i have the urge to blog out what God has done in my life this week.. haha.. may not have other chance since i'll be off to indonesia for 2 weeks.
when i came back from bangkok last thu, the first sms that i received was about a job interview on the next day. i went there and found out that it's a big company (one of my prayer's answered!), talked to the boss and he liked me lolx.. so he offered me the job but alas the salary was not what i prayed for to get my pass approved. after much consideration and talk, i decided to take the job only if he agreed on the salary that i asked, dun wanna cheat anymore man. got a reply on tue, he called and said ok! (second prayer's answered!) i was like.. REALLY?!?!? SERIOUS??? (only in my heart of course) hahaahaa so i got the job!! amazing!

was ecstatic that i kept walking up and down bedok station and giggling all over.. called shirls at the end and asked her out for celebration =p
we ended up eating at coffee club and watched 'the child- l'enfant' at picture house. paid $10 for the movie but the seats are good.. it's the small theatre specially for arts movies in cathay, they even have a special lounge for the ppl. anyway the movie is unique.. it doesn't even have an ending song, the credits just roll in silence.. lolx.. ok i am not that very artistic after all.

i went back to the company on fri to sign the contract and settle everything. when i saw the ppl who work there, i realized that the work is going to be tough yet exciting.. well no more nothing to do in office, no more personal leisure or extended lunch hour, no more msn.. but this is what i should have, i should do, real job.. real responsibility.. i'm gonna get rid of my slack and procrastinating spirit.

thinking back, when i quitted my previous job, there's this thought at the back of my mind that it's impossible to get another job in such short period, not to mention the amount of salary that i have to get. but i guess thinking too much is just not the way.. just gotta live by faith and do my best. it's amazing how God has prepared the way for me and all in all in about one week (excluding thai trip).
well considering Moses n the red sea, Joshua n the wall of Jericho, Daniel n the lion's den, etc etc, i shouldn't be surprised on what God can do. i still have many petitions, but as usual God will somehow make a way for me.
gosh, i'm so glad that my life can be a living testimony.
thank you all who prayed for me, not to mention all the encouragement! every word matters =)

i asked susi out last nite after finalising this job, she wanted to vent her stress at work lolx, so we went back to the jap restaurant at purvis and ordered the garlic fried rice! she got herself some wine hahaha... we met weiling n shufen by coincidence at clarity (3 shops away) what a small singapore..
at the end we watched MI3, think susi's too tired cos she told me that she fell asleep for few mins, that's amazing considering that the movie's quite exciting and full of action.

ok i gotta start packing.. 2 weeks without internet.. oh well.. i will survive!

*livi* 6:13 PM

• • • • •


Monday, May 01, 2006


i put to be continued but think again there's nothing much to be continued from there haha..
oh well.. been resting at home a lot lately, one reason is due to tiredness, the other reason is because to save some money of course.
went out for a few job interviews on fri, yeah as i am changing job.. quite interesting, there's one boss who thought that i was very cheerful and smily, therefore he likes me (to be employee).. which is a good thing lolx.. well gotta pray hard.. surely a perfect job is somewhere near, God is always on time anyway.
another good thing is i actually made some friends with the other applicants while we were waiting to be called (more than an hour), though we didn't exchange no, i felt good about it.. being friendly to one another.

my bro n his fiancee came here, so as a good sister i spent my whole weekend going out with them =p it was nice, not only because he paid for almost all the expenses but it's the time spent. got to know my 'sis in-law' better as well, such a gentle girl lolx.. guess that's what most men are looking for- gentleness.

i don't wanna be anyone but myself.
i don't need others' talents, others' beauty, others' personalities, others' possessions, others' blessings. God loves me as i am and i will be loved as i am.
living a thankful and contented life.

*livi* 11:03 PM

• • • • •



about me~

livi grace melinda
14/02/82
love everything but durian

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