Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Here I am humbled by Your MajestyCovered by Your grace so free
Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb
Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since You laid down Your life
The greatest sacrifice
Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed, but alive in Your hands
Here I am humbled by the love that You give
Forgiven so that I can forgive
Here I stand, knowing that I'm Your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire
Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by Your love
In the presence of your Majesty
majesty - various artists (my kind of worship)
i'm so melted. 100x better than delirious' version (no offence)
there won't be any day that i cannot thank the Lord.
i thank Him for giving me ears to listen... and for existence of music.. that i can give Him my total worship.
• • • • •
Monday, February 27, 2006
people who are placed by God8B3 had a good time on sat. started the day with k-lunch, not much choice for me there considering i can only sing english songs. i think it's been almost 3 years since the last time i stepped into a ktv. not really my kind of place but the rest were enjoying themselves and i have to admit, it's not that bad. quite enjoyable.
after a short tea break time, we spent some time at carrefour to shop for ingredients. decided to cook all the dishes and no steamboat. seriously it's a very good idea compared to eating outside. saved us lots of money.
YS drove all of us to my place and we started to turn the kitchen upside down. each of us showed some skills in preparing the food, well except me maybe haha..
the others reached shortly as well and we even managed to play a few rounds of mahjong before the dinner. shufen had the 'beginner luck' and i think she enjoyed the game most.
we had some 'sharing' after the dinner and cleaning up, it was really funny with the 'my love' misunderstanding =p
i know 8B3 will continue on to be mighty esp with the additional ppl coming in, hope that they won't bully YS too much. speaking of which, it's very sweet of him to give each of us the 'cg southpark edition' card, thanks CL (T_T)
as bao has said, all of you has done a great job in making our transition to adults group smoothly and bearable..
much prayer to doraemon sisters, candice and cindy as well, 8B2 is so blessed to have these 2 gals.
God really spoke to me in ss worship yesterday, maybe He has been trying to, but i turned a deaf ear to Him most of the time. i felt so glad that i wanted to laugh and cry at the same time, it's just one of my moments with God, the rest of the auditorium faded away.
the whole ss reminded me greatly on my promises, promises to God that i have not really been keeping. i really hate ppl who don't keep their promises, how can i myself be a promise-breaker then?
physically, emotionally, socially and spiritually.. i need to move towards my breakthrough, NOW.
i went straight to pay my CBF after that, gotta admit that it pinched me a bit, but i just can't live with the thought of having more money while God's house is still in debt. neither can you right? gotta discipline myself more for CBF.
since i had nothing much to do in the afternoon, i decided to follow eve and shufen for a swim at bishan. my.. it has been ages. i used to swim a lot, but those were the days. the weather's good, the water's cold.. susi and weiling joined us at the end as well, so 5 of us really had a nice girls outing.. it felt good, maybe i should swim more in the future, a very cheap way to kill time as well.
listening >> breathe/how do i live without you - various artists (album: my kind of worship)
saxophone and keyboard. blast your speakers, close your eyes.
i really recommend the album to all JAZZ LOVERS. beautiful.
• • • • •
Sunday, February 26, 2006
I'm tired. I don't want to lead a double life anymore.
I am not a happy plastic person. I am a real human being.
Only God knows how stupid I have been.
He has seen enough of my fragility and tears.
Even if He's not sick of it, I am.
A strong woman of God I will be.
Empty me Lord
You are more than enough.
• • • • •
Saturday, February 25, 2006
phew i'm so proud of myself. just did a major clean up in the living room, kitchen and toilet. well main reason is because we're having cg farewell at my place later =pso glad to be able to open up the RC for this event. i was quite surprised that bao commented how happy he is to come back here as indeed this place holds a lot of memories especially with the ex-ywam. i'm sure we're gonna have a blast later, can't wait to eat yupei's specialty and maybe we can play some games... hrmm mahjong.. lotr risk maybe.. hehe.
honestly, i don't feel sad for this time's farewell, not that i'm unfeeling about this cg ok, but i don't feel that this is a farewell. we will still have cg on the same day and same time (though diff room), we will still sit together in ss and yah we will meet one another in every unit event, not to mention our promise to ask one another out on sat.
this new cg is going to be exciting, more roles for all of us definitely but more room to grow as well =)
one thing that i'm worried of, now that YS is no longer with us, am i going to play guitar for cg every week? gasp. i hope junhuang can share my burden man.. meanwhile, i shall practise more, gotta improve.
funny that i don't feel tired now considering that it's already so late and i was out whole day just now.
spent some time with the guys as wenjun is flying off to india soon (in another 1 hour or so), we went for dinner at ajisen dining, not sure why but it made me wanna vomit. david bought us brownies and i knew at that moment, my diet plan has failed big time haha. hendra was very funny as usual and roy kept forcing us to communicate in indonesian -_-
well i think joe's face was glowing cos of his ORD =p
speaking of which, i met danny at BK, his face glowed as well considering his ORD is in another 5 days. haven't seen him for ages man, am glad that he looks really fine. not sure why his friends kept giggling at us though..
ended the night at this cafe at cine (forgot the name) where i ordered banana smoothies hahaha.. banana.. bana.. balanar.. what a joke.. ><
eugene came down as well and we visited the rest who were having fun at ktv. battery low liao so some of us went home first, including me of course. that concludes the day.
praying for wenjun and dewen to 'enjoy' themselves in india. well at least they'll enjoy the SQ flight.
btw it's so amusing that i just realized shirls blogged almost the same thing as mine (looking for movies' companion). she didn't read my blog and i didn't read hers, we just happened to blog the same thing. that's quite amazing huh, great minds think alike.
listening >> Jesus You are - Paul Baloche
You are everything I'm not
• • • • •
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
calling for those who are interested in watching:- The constant gardener
- Syriana
- Walk the line
- Munich (M18)
- Transamerica (R21)
just ask me out and see if we can fix time to watch together. ermm.. only applicable to those who are closer to me ok hahaha..
man... too many good movies, gotta cost me quite a lot. maybe i will just pick one or two, considering the CBF.
• • • • •
Monday, February 20, 2006
i just came back from an amusing dinner appointment.joyous occasion indeed! hahahahahhahahahahahhahahaha..... ^^
***
decided to post the lyrics up-
When he passes me by he's a ray of light
Like the first drop of sun from the sky
And I know he's a king who deserves a queen
But I'm not a queen and he doesn't see me
When he dances he moves me to a smile
And I see everything near him shine
There's a grace in his ways that I can't contain
I haven't that grace oh, I haven't that grace
And the closer he gets I can't help but hide
So ashamed of my body and voice
There are boundaries we pass in spite of the war
But our own we can't seem to cross
She has a way that surrounds her so delicate
With a glory that reigns in her life
She is also so much that she is not
These things I can't see 'cause he doesn't see me
Oh-oh-oh ... And he doesn't see me
There are things we can change if we just choose to fight
But the walls of injustice are high
When he passes me by he's a ray of light
Like the first drop of sun from the sky
And I know he's a king who deserves a queen
Someone other than me so different from me
Oh-oh-oh ... he doesn't see me
Oh-oh-oh ... he doesn't see me
He doesn't see me
why must such a sad song exist? simply depressing.
but it is really nice. i love it.
• • • • •
Sunday, February 19, 2006
i'm so in love with sarah brightman right now. the 'la luna - live in concert' dvd that i just took from my brother has become one of my fave. i won't mind spending money to watch one of her concert man.. it's just.. beautiful ><today is indeed a memorable day, specially for those who went for water baptism. congrats to ronnie, marvin and angeline, so glad to see them going down to the pool. we took some pics and had a nice dinner after that. nice doesn't mean expensive considering that my food only cost $2.
had a very funny encounter with yingfang on our way there, she's very funny =)
junhuang joined us for dinner also, it's an amusing sight and my.. he can really talk, not that it's bad haha.. it's fun to have him around.
i had my first mm duty this morning, well it's more on observing actually, didn't really do much. i think i really have this 'stage managing' problem, i focused more on spotting the mistakes than learning what to do. think it's not really easy actually, i'm pretty sure that somehow somewhere i will screw up as well when i'm really on duty in the future.
i was kinda scared that i've become such a proud person, seeing more on others' flaws. well, i really want to strive for perfection and higher standard in service, since now i'm officially in mm, of course i want the best for mm. but i want to remind myself and ask God for humility. i'm far from the standard and gotta start from scratch, starting from my heart first.
i wish i can have more duties.. once a month is a bit.. hrrmmm.. a long wait. martha?
listening >> he doesn't see me - sarah brightman
• • • • •
Thursday, February 16, 2006
found a very interesting link, this is to test how tone deaf you are.musical listening test
well, i got the score 28/30, think it's considered very good =p
it's been very boring in office for the past few days that i blog everyday. not that i'm not doing my job ok, i don't slack. it's just simply nothing much to do for now.
one of my fave website is the bbc news, it's just shocking to read certain happenings around the world, may it be current news or past history. the world is in a mess, i bet everybody knows that, it's just sometimes we choose to be indifferent about it, since there's nothing much we can do here also.
make it a habit to read daily, may it be newspapers, or online news, or watch channel news asia or something.
exploring world map is another good habit.. haha.. and if you are really bored, dictionary.com is fun as well.
listening >> indescribable - chris tomlin
• • • • •
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
persevere.this word just came back to me. last nite we tried to get a cab home, seemingly to be mission impossible, there were too many people and no cab.. look what valentine day has done to us. at the end we decided to call for one instead, but all the lines were busy, it was madness. after many attempts, we almost gave up and took bus before i decided to try the cab line just one more time and yes we got it.
i'm not saying that i'm very good in persevering, in fact there are many times that i give up halfway, or even full of complaints. best example will be times when i play dota lousily, the guys can testify for this haha. but i believe that God calls us to always persevere in times of difficulties. not just a blind positive thinking or trying to deceive oneself, but really believe that certain things can be done. i persevered on my studies when the days were tough, on finding job when most of the interviews failed me, on getting the permit to work here even as many times i cried due to discouragement, i pray that i will always be reminded of these. what is a small setback, discouragement, fear or insecurity? i refuse to give up.
there are few things in my life that i wonder if it will be better for me to give them up. maybe my perseverance has become a stubbornness. or maybe i am just plain stupid. but i won't stop believing as i keep my petition to God, not even when the whole world think differently, not till the end. as this is the path that i take, if i may quote esther, if i perish i perish (that sounds too serious somehow =p)
***
i just came back from another bday treat with the 2 bros who aspire to be my wedding hosts in the future (if that day really comes) hahaa.. been having good meals for the past few days that i feel really bad for my tummy. will compensate it with more exercises ^^
i had 2 jap meals from yesterday alone, the sakae lunch was quite surprising, what was meant to be one on one date with shuz became 5 ppl; roy, eugene and dewen were there as well ><
really appreciate it, they know all the things that i like, from the right food to the right gifts and the right cake. haha. i guess you just need to be around me longer and you can read me like a book. anyway it's always the companion that matters, and i'm so blessed to have these wonderful ppl around me.
had dinner with susi and nicole in the evening, it was of course crowded everywhere so we decided to eat at this jap restaurant at purvis st. waited for the food for almost one hour but it's quite delicious so we forgave them. we talked much about our recent trip to hometown, susi has lots of funny stories..
went back to bugis junc and met up with shirls n the gang afterwards so we all gathered at coffee bean for a while, the blessed dewen was surrounded by 7 girls. haha.
i was talking to a few of my ex-sheep and my old high school classmates on msn these few days also, it's funny yet great that my bday has become a way for us to catch up with one another. one of my best friends julie is coming back from sydney next month, i haven't seen her for almost 6 years and somehow that's quite unbelievable. how time flies.
listening >> kissing a fool - michael buble
• • • • •
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
i've never seen so many guys shopping before. i was at bugis junction last nite and it was an interesting sight seeing all the guys busy choosing over soft toys, accessories or cards for their loved ones i suppose. where does this valentine come from actually? why do people hate spending this day alone? insecurity?
out of curiosity, i checked the history of Valentine's Day -
Every February, across the country, candy, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. But who is this mysterious saint and why do we celebrate this holiday? We do know that February has long been a month of romance. St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. Today, the Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred.
One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.
Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured.
According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl -- who may have been his jailor's daughter -- who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and, most importantly, romantic figure.
............ hrmm... i can never feel anything special about valentine, well considering that it's my bday. if you want love, God's love is with you everyday, you receive gifts from Him all the time, not just today. haha...
i went to watch 'brokeback mountain' with shirls, a very weird movie with a totally different kind of love. i'm not sure what is happening to this world seriously.. well it's a good movie all in all but i certainly don't recommend this to brothers to watch together and of course it's out of bounds for those below 21.
there are many thought provoking movies nowadays, we just have to know our stand.
• • • • •
Monday, February 13, 2006
what a blessed weekend.with service focused on friendship in the family of God and most importantly with He Himself, i can't help but to appreciate more what i have already had.
shirls asked me this question before, "who do you consider Jesus as?" my first answer was (and is) 'as a friend'.
of course He's also my peace, my comforter, my saviour, my Lord and the list can go on and on. but the first thing that came to my mind was 'friend'. the one that can never fail me. not only that, He put more friends into my life as well, true friends that can touch my heart beyond words.
i love this family of God.
ps jeff and claudia invited shirls and me to their parents' house for steamboat dinner on friday night. it was a very blessed night and we definitely ate A LOT. they couldn't stop feeding us with food, after the dinner we had fruits, snacks and even ice cream (ben & jerry's) haha a very hospitable family. of course it's a good time of laughter as well.
you know, it feels good to eat together with family at home.. on real dining table.. i bet all the foreigners here can identify with me since we can hardly have the chance to.. so i'm really thankful for their gesture of love ^^
sat was another east coast event with cg, kinda disappointed that we could not kayak after so much anticipation. well anyway i decided to go for cycling, not that i can cycle haha.. me and marvin shared a tandem bike with me sitting behind of course. it was actually quite fun, the rest of them went for roller-blading.
we went to cosy bay after that (indoor stadium area). the place is really not bad and we spent quite some time there eating, drinking and crapping, samuel shared his knowledge on nuclear and atomic bomb to us =p
YS drove me to somerset (really thank God for his van). went to marche for a very funny farewell dinner given by my ex-leaders in youth team hope. eevoon is really very sweet to arrange everything, after being postponed for so many times, it has finally come to pass haha.. but one thing that i didn't expect is for them to celebrate my bday as well. eevoon, jiehui, ian, justin, alvin, joe, himyi, sinhung n jiamin, really grateful to have them in my life, serving together in this kingdom. thanks for the heartfelt affirmation and gifts >< continue on to give your best for team hope ok!
blessed by the cg as well on sun! though the cake box fell to the ground and turned it into one of the most artistic cake ever, it's still a delicious one haha.. glad to share the celebration with weiling and i was actually feeling touched with the things shared by them.
the day is followed by a short meeting with cara, going to be involved in our upcoming sub-d event and i believe this will be one good experience, esp working with new ppl. the auditorium cleaning was almost done by the time i reached nexus again in the afternoon, hahaha thank God everybody for working so hard =p
ended the day with a good dinner at pepper lunch and nice desserts at coffee club with susi, yupei n mandy. it's very fun but yah spent too much. oh well..
listening >> peace - jennifer knapp
all tempests He will bind with a mighty word
• • • • •
Saturday, February 11, 2006
alrite.. these are some pics that i really love ^^
taken at tangkuban perahu, it's gorgeous right?
a view from around my house, the city is below~
that's my dear bro
and my future sis in-law, welcome to the family =)
will upload the other pics to my gallery yah.
• • • • •
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
you prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemiesyou anoint my head with oil
my cup overflows
if only.
i have a lot of things in my mind, sometimes the thought "if only" comes out.. but it's just foolish seriously. there is no if only.
oh well, personal stuff will go to my other journal.. as for this blog, i'll talk bout my recent trip to indonesia =)
it's a wonderful journey home that feels like a month though it's only a week.
me and shirls left home on friday morning, to our horror we left some goodies that we've bought and prepared for our relatives at home! sigh so blur... at the end we had to shop again at changi airport. it took us quite some time that we almost missed the plane. lol.
a few funny things happened on our first day there. first, my mom couldn't recognize us hahah.. we were waiting for one another at airport for quite some time before she realized that we're her daughters. apparently, she thought that we somehow grew taller and prettier.. ok i think she's having an illusion.
here's the best part, when we were on our way to highway, the car broke down. it just stopped. oh my... it's just amusing ><
so we got ourselves a tow-truck and at the end me n shirls shared a bajaj (a three wheeled small vehicle that makes tremendous noise pollution)
it was great to see my grandparents, dear cousins again.. and yah of course my brother. they kept rattling on about shirls being the lost grandchild considering that she has not gone back home for more than 10 years ^^
i've finally met my bro's fiancee. it's amusing. but seriously i'm really glad for him to find someone who can control him. a nice gal all in all.
we spent our reunion at bandung (my parents' place) it was great, the weather's cool, ranged around 15-20 degrees? who needs aircon with it haha.. and it's true indeed that they stay at the top of a mountain, the view is great. i could see the mountains.. fields.. the cities. the sky looks beautiful and i could see many many stars at night, aaaw felt so romantic.. only God can show love in such a way.
we all should get out of the city once in a while and experience some nature, it's wonderful~
to make it complete, we made a trip to tangkuban perahu (an inactive volcano) as well. shirls was busy taking pics, not everyday we can see such beautiful place. funny that both of us remembered justin during this time, yah he would love it man.. maybe we could bring him there after his ORD =p
spent some time at jakarta as well, i did a lot of shopping and we certainly ate a lot of good spicy stuff. my bro has quite a collection of dvds at home that we spent a lot of time watching movies at night also.
here's what i got from 'italian job' - you know when someone asks 'how are you' and you say 'i'm fine', FINE means Freaked-out, Insecure, Neurotic, Emotional. hahaha... yeah man.. i totally agree.
i'm really blessed with this year's cny, family is indeed a blessing yah.. we have to treasure more. this trip also taught me of God's greatness once again. the world is vast and beautiful.
i'm still waiting for my cousin to send the photos to me, will post them up for sure~
listening >> the long way of drums - tsutchie
• • • • •
Monday, February 06, 2006
i can make a toast for today! what a wonderful day ^^apart from my tummy that still feels a bit funny, the rest seems right. indeed God has perfect plan, after months of planning and searching and negotiating, i've finally closed this whole to move or not to move house issue today. not very sure how to put it here, some things are better left unsaid, but in conclusion i shall not move out yeah.. we all came to the best settlement.
moving house is never fun anyway.. hope that this 04-140 can be my home longer.
i just spent some time talking to a youth brother who's going to be my cg mate soon (ermm is it a secret for now?), anyway he's very funny =p
i think it's amusing how God put certain ppl in the same cg, it's never a coincidence.
yingsoon announced the restructuring yesterday during lunch, my new cg will be NG8B4 and i wonder if i can remember that... it's gonna be weird hahaah.. oh well.. i will miss a lot of ppl including my current blur cl, but since we're still in the same unit we can still see one another often, that's for sure, so it's not that bad =)
i talked to nic last nite also about certain problem that i think i will face with this new cg, i like it when she says 'i understand' cos i know that she really does, not just mere words. somehow she understands a lot and that's comforting.
met up with germs again yesterday to buy something for pearls (a bumblebee that looks like her). we were totally like 2 zombies.. so tired.. sat for hours at o'brien, writing 'essays' for pearls. i enjoy writing cards, and normally, i write a very long card that it looks like an essay (especially to those closer in heart).
met pearls after that to pass her all the things, i think she almost cried ><
ok i think i'd better pack up and get myself ready to go to the airport now. aaah..
listening >> overwhelmed - danny chambers
Your peace will reign~
• • • • •
Saturday, February 04, 2006
oh man i feel terrible, having a post holiday sickness now. my stomach has grown attached to the toilet very much that i had to miss the cg outing this afternoon, i wonder if they really went for kayaking. sigh.. why out of all days.i shall go back to my sleep soon, just wanna blog this out.
last nite after reaching changi airport and about an hour rest, i went straight to meet germs and pearls for overnight (ok i'm a bit crazy) heh cos it has been planned since many weeks ago, felt very excited nevertheless.
while waiting for pearls, me and germs slacked around at macs first. she said somethin very interesting.. according to jaime, i am the remedy to germs' stress hahaha.. that's an honor.
we reached pearls' home very late, i love overnights cos we really got chance to talk and it felt great, how at first 3 of us squeezing into one bed.. talking n sharing. i think we have made a breakthrough in our friendship, a big step =) pearls fell asleep first, she's too tired, so only me and germs continued till almost daybreak. it's amusing and amazing... only we know why haha.
2 days to go and pearls will be flying off to melbourne. gosh am gonna miss her, but i won't consider this as a farewell. no farewell for friendship right?
• • • • •