Thursday, April 28, 2005
i'm hungry... haaha.. the last time i had lunch was last sunday, since then i think i have been surviving with one meal per day -dinner, and at times i skipped that as well. not because i'm too poor to eat, or fasting.. but i guess i have just lost my interest in food.. no appetite.. ok i'm crazy. i'm not taking care of God's temple well, so i will eat more later when i meet susi, besides today worth celebration! my burden has been lifted up.. err well at least half of it.. anyway, i'm amazed with God. He is just sooo good and faithful, and He listens everytime i cry out to Him in desperation, when i know no one else can help me but Him. i think my life can be a powerful testimony for Him. of course i have to thank those who are continuously praying for me especially for these few days. thinking about you guys makes me feel stronger =)
oh my bro called me last nite, looking for shirls haha.. we had long conversation and i was speaking in broken indonesian language, it was just terrible, didn't know what i was saying and he scolded me -_-
how patriotic i am... i forgot my own language, my own national song, my own president..
listening >> all for love- hillsong united
actually the song is really not bad.. and it's easy to play >_<
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Wednesday, April 27, 2005
romans 12:12- be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer let it be the verse that's printed in my mind.. and in my heart as well.
been listening to 'shout unto God' a lot and i'm seriously loving it, it's not just the drums or acoustic, but the song gives me a sense of victory - yeah man, the enemy has been defeated!
i didn't really have the energy to blog these few days. after years of avoiding, i've finally paid a visit to the dentist, spent an hour of agony and lots of money there.
me and susi went for the worship nite on fri. it was a feast of great oldies, those songs that we love to sing for cg. i think it's fantastic- melted in my own world with Him.
came early to nexus on sat and it just felt great. i had the chance to do stage managing with joel n david (from uni), they were very observant and full of questions.. it was a good experience, they were practically like my bodyguards following me all the way and i had to sit between them -_- haha
cg.. thanks reagan for helping me out again! =)
some of us went to settlers cafe after that (is that the name), it was quite fun, playing games like risk and all. i had mighty soldiers hahahaa.... anyway we ended the day at shufen's new zealand, stayed till it closed. fruitful day-
thinking >> the info counter training o_o
listening >> big - planet shakers
that's the perfect song for me this week-
PS. my faithful available teachable sis is finally turning 26 today =)
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Wednesday, April 20, 2005
ask and it will be given. i asked and God really gave me, i don't need to work on sat anymore! bwahhahahahaha.... my pay's cut for it but seriously i don't care. i don't need a lot of money anyway, just gotta be more thrifty in the future. used my lunch hour to bring my guitar back to the shop for drilling.. punching hole.. putting screws.. well i don't know what you call that, basically for the strap, the service costs 5 bucks each. i asked the guy if he could change the strings as well, and he said that the shop would charge another 12 bucks for that.. gasp.. but you know what, that friendly nice guy told me that he'd help me for free, just don't tell the owner.. double gasp.. hahaha... so much for loyalty. so he did, when i came back after lunch, he put 2 new screws instead of 1, and he changed the strings for free. in total, i saved up 17 bucks.. waaa... we still had some chat, he mentioned how expensive the services could be in the shop.. so loyal 0_o
i wonder if that means we're being dishonest? or was it a blessing from God? am i crazy if i go back there and pay the shop?
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Monday, April 18, 2005
Yes i'm addicted to this old song that was brought back to life last sat. 'awesome god' is awesome and many would say amen to that haha.. i had one of my most wonderful worship time, no should be 3... from the 1st ss to the 2nd ss to the 3rd ss. you can't help to think that God is indeed an awesome God. roy made a nice recording of that ^^ and so glad to see jem's back on stage!
it's a joyful anniversary with lots of balloons, a super big size cake and family to celebrate this together. full of thanksgiving and remembrance of God's faithfulness. Hope has become a place like none other to me.
meiting did a very good job in the morning, so did minghon and alvin, in fact everybody did =) it's really my privilege to lead and serve together with all of ya.
one of my old friend, well actually my previous group's contact came after the ss, was kinda disappointed actually that he didn't want to attend the ss after i waited for him so long (be there in 5 min became 50 min), apparently he chose to take a walk first till the ss ended, and met me and the group for dinner. anyway brought him to the DI table, spent some time there, the feeling's just funny, met some ppl that i was not even sure whether they're visitors, believers, new b or been around for long. but i talked to them, trying to make myself more comfortable being there and it was enjoyable. i have almost forgotten how it felt like, being so pastoral. reminded me of the sermon also, reaching out to ppl, yes people matters.
there are many ppl around me that i can make an impact on. just by saying hi, smile, light conversation, encouragement, sharing, wanting to know about them more. from those who are close to those who are.. strangers. i know i can do more.
***
sun morning and reagan surprised me big time by seriously giving me guitar lesson before cg bwahaha.. anyway i got myself an acoustic, yay! all those walking and looking and considering that i started to think that i wouldn't be able to get the right one, feeling bad for mei and david who accompanied me. just couldn't make up my mind, either the size was not right, or the colour's not nice, or it's just not comfortable. oh there's another reason actually, the price. i felt like harry potter looking for the perfect wand.
anyway i settled on one at the end which according to shirls looks old and boring, but i AM boring haha i love plain stuff and i appreciate simplicity.. most important thing is comfortable with it.
ended the day with dinner at toa payoh with germs, pearl and eilton, all the way here for chix rice? well can't deny that it's nice but i think the main reason is the fellowship (as usual) we crapped like mad, nope they crapped like mad and i listened hahah... saw the dark side of everyone, how they enjoyed torturing God's little creation..the ants. but it was really funny.. laughed my head off. got to know love languages of one another better and we do fill one another cups.
as i was clearing my wallet from all the receipts and junk papers, i found 3 pieces of folded papers and amazed to read what's written inside.
the first one in a heart shape was a short letter written by huimin (my ex-sheep), it's her pledge to be a good armour bearer and support for me and the group and i think it was really touching T_T
the second one was funny, it was the list of so called criteria of my future partner that jasmine asked me to write down last time. i wrote such a long list that i think hmmm impossible to reach hahahaa...
the third one was my own handwriting, 10 things that i really wanted to thank God in my life and i still do. reading that reminded me greatly of His goodness.
i love finding things that remind me of good memories, that's why it's so fun clearing up my old photo albums, or encouragement cards, or my drawer, wardrobe etc.. not that i kept looking into the past, but i think all these things motivated me even more for the future. hope that i won't lose my memory ever.
it's 18th today and boy i'm really dread of end apr. for the first time i wrote a letter to God this morning, and i made a promise to discipline myself for certain things in my life. i can really start with simple things like exercising and sleeping early. ppl, can you kick me to bed if you see me online so late at night? thanks ^^
thinking >> what a long entry i made
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Friday, April 15, 2005
dd. 01.01.04
oh gosh check this out. first of all pls don't take this photo and publicize it. it may cause death of someone, none other than myself, killed by jasmine.
the countdown party at changi village. man.. a crazy night that ended with a flood, inside and outside the chalet. look at the 3 ladies at the front *gasp* they are hmmm indescribable..
from the front left- liyan was the pirate (real pirate), jasmine (yes that's really her) was supposedly faye wong o_0 and jenny who became the gatsby girl (should show pearls and yy also)
behind- chiewfang was trying to be the female version of bo bice, then that's me errm thank God i've changed my costume before we took that pic... the thick make-up, the bright red nail polish, a night of denial.. sam looked pretty joyful to be surrounded by 7 pretty ladies hahah.. what was nel doing with that big garbage bag?? and last but not least meihwa who was dreaming to be the red riding hood girl.. i suppose.
i remember i told God that night, within one year by 01.01.05 i wanna grow the group to 50 - a sub D for Him. but apparently He had better plan for me hahah... oh well now i'm leading a district size of ministry volunteers if that's counted. all in all, He is faithful.. as always =)
***
it's my dad's bday and he wants a son in-law as a gift bwaahaha.. what a joke.. =p anyway he didn't want to admit that he's his age. he's not that young anymore = i'm not really young anymore also. hmmm....
you know, channel news asia came to nexus last sat to film david hoe down, kinda like interview. heard that last night it was on tv, and shirls said nexus looks sooo good on tv! bwahahha.... i feel so happy man! just too bad i didn't see, anyone recorded it down?
anyway it's good to have such salt and light in the church, we should really give our best and portray the right picture of God amen?
i need to give myself a planning retreat, thinkin and prayin for the ministry *pulling my hair*
changi airport? esplanade?
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Wednesday, April 13, 2005
can't help to smile looking at my photo collection, each photo brings a story behind it, and good memories. 
kawaiii.. the pig... hahaha ^^
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hey i think this is nice =)
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one year makes a big diff to lots of us.. esp the hair.... ^^
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marcom family.. well... not all...
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Tuesday, April 12, 2005
I cried out to God for help; I cried out to God to hear me. When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
At night I stretched out untiring hands and my soul refused to be comforted.
I remembered you, O God, and I groaned; I mused, and my spirit grew faint.
You kept my eyes from closing; I was too troubled to speak.
I thought about the former days, the years of long ago;
I remembered my songs in the night. My heart mused and my spirit inquired:
"Will the Lord reject forever? Will he never show his favor again?
Has his unfailing love vanished forever? Has his promise failed for all time?
Has God forgotten to be merciful? Has he in anger withheld his compassion?"
Then I thought, "To this I will appeal: the years of the right hand of the Most High."
I will remember the deeds of the LORD ; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds.
Your ways, O God, are holy. What god is so great as our God?
You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples.
With your mighty arm you redeemed your people, the descendants of Jacob and Joseph.
=psalm 77:1-15=
THE WORD. so powerful, so comforting, so assuring. word comes from the bible, word comes from my worship, word comes from my prayer, word comes from the people whom i know thoughts are always with me though physically may not be here.
life is not easy, how i wish there's a mountain here for me to climb all the way up to the top, where there's no one and i can shout my lungs out. but there isn't.. so i choose to stay here in quietness and sing of Your faithfulness and goodness. i remember Job, i remember Abraham, i remember Joseph, i remember myself and i know i can give thanks.
listening >> the voice of hope
the power of a worship lies in the lyrics, not the music.
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Monday, April 11, 2005
thinkin about the royal wedding in uk, it took them 34 long years of being good friends before they could finally really tie the knot. that's kinda long man.. anyway i think it's amusing, their whole journey sounds like something that you can find in tv drama.anyway it's just a thought.
heard that pam was baptised yesterday, gosh that jeremy didn't mention anything when i spoke to him yesterday >fuming<
suddenly i remember how pam was when she just came, very cheerful, loved to give me a hug, lovely yet stubborn haha.. always said no to water baptism.
pam and jeremy.. won't forget those two jokers who dropped me such a big bomb but amazingly all turned out well, and i really am sincerely happy for her now, messaged her today and glad to know that she's doing well in the adult group and also in her studies ^^
sometimes i wonder whether it's right or wrong.. but to know that she's drawing closer to god more and more each day, maybe it was not really a wrong decision after all.
i need to exercise, should i jog every morning or every night? which one is better?
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Sunday, April 10, 2005
i have lived up to my name as keep walking today-exhausted. spent the day at east coast, we saw a lot of ppl going for water bap. it was great; the sound of guitars, laughter.. everywhere. joy in heaven and earth. i remember the day when i made the decision, feels like yesterday man.. it's kinda amazing.
played captain ball, and for the first few mins i've been trying to shoot into the wrong goalpost.. haha. been very blur, i can't help to laugh thinkin bout the comment bout alvin that i made in TSPT last nite, free entertainment in the midst of serious meeting.
thinking >> the future leadership.. time for quick discipleship.
PS. happy bday to my source of anime- the ever generous davin aka tbk =)
i need to rest.. and i'll be the first one to throw stones at whoever who thinks that being in ywam means free time and slacking-
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Friday, April 08, 2005
how cute can they be ^^
i've finished all 49 eps. not bad not bad =)
oh well went to far east to get rid of some hair, but the funny thing is unlike mei, i ended up with no diff at all.. haha... i think i'll grow my hair long instead, so just trimmed a bit. and the person who cut my hair was very funny, he gave me an advice : if you want your hair to be non-bulky, just let it grow longer, don't cut don't trim within at least 3 mths, no matter how messy or out of shape it will be, just ignore it' i was like errrmm ooookaay... hahah ok then i shall heed his advice. won't do anything to my hair till august. hope it will grow nicely ^^
then we walked all the way down to nexus to give the musicians support =p actually to rest our legs hehe..
tmw will be interesting-
listening >> more than words
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there are certain things.. certain questions that i really feel like avoiding, i guess i'm too scared to know the answer, too scared to receive answers that i don't want to receive to be in exact. human. only wants to hear the good things, don't want to be rejected.but i have to face it after all... aaarrrgghhh.. God... give me strength....
my motto should be -NO FEAR-
alrite enough of this, going to meet mei soon, i'm gonna cut my hair reallly short o_O
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Monday, April 04, 2005
monday. i woke up with a thought 'geez.. still 5 days to sat'. and the weather is terrible. i'm not going to lie by saying that i love mondays, but then as i'm sitting in office (like what i'm doing now), i do have to thank God for mondays. without monday and other days in the week, weekends wouldn't be so precious. and besides as what ps says we are not living in some kind of teletubbies land, should stop dreaming that you can have 7 sundays a week. i should learn to enjoy the weekdays, and to think that most of the guys in ywam are going thru worse weekdays much more than me (under the hot sun and the downpour)... hmmm.. yeah i am blessed.***
recently we have been blessed a lot with food on sun, maybe due to the new timing of cg. wenjun lives up to his name as our welfare minister, he feeds us well indeed.. i think the girls were feeling a bit ashamed so mei brought salad yesterday =p oh well i think i should prepare some food also next time.
daniel came for the first time and he's wearing northeast t-shirt... really amusing ^^
great to have reagan who 'tried to' come early for prac, heh but he gave me good suggestion bout the songs, and played well so i guess he's forgiven. i've decided to pyscho him to come early every sun and give me some pointers... with a bribe of course.
jasmine came and shared somethin that made some of us will have to do lots of thinking and planning for the next few weeks. i have a feeling that more white hair will come out.
at the end of the day somehow we ended up at esplanade again, no performance this time, no KC also bwahahaa... but i could do with just sitting and hanging around, talkin, jokin, sharing..
thought of the day >> vision. my vision.
how far a person can go for the desire of the heart?
how great it is to know where to find the strength and comfort-
who would play guitar till 3 am in the morning and woke up to see eyebags as she looked into the mirror and feelin very tired? oh well, yeah shoot me... o_o
PS. happy bday to gerald. hope that i will vomit lesser blood this year.amen.
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Friday, April 01, 2005
man does,indeed,need a radical change of heart; he needs to begin to hate his sin instead of loving it, and to love God instead of hating him; he needs,in a word,to be reconciled to God. And the place, above all others, where this change takes place is at the foot of the cross, when he apprehends something of the hatred of God for sin and his indescribable love for the sinner. it's been a shaking week, not because of the quake which i didn't even feel at all by the way, but things that have been going on. first of all, it's true that the quake made me think again, how scary a natural disaster can be, and as mei said we are so blessed to stay in spore, all these things won't really happen to us. earthquake, tsunami, volcano eruption, typhoon, what else.. i think the whole island will be gone.
but something scares me more than these, funny but true.. i'm scared of ICA officers.. yes.. just looking at the building makes me having cold sweat.
emotions are funny.. within a week, i was fearful, joyful, angry, at peace, shocked, dissatisfied, thankful. but at the end the good ones prevail haha. God is so real and He favours me! the feeling of being loved by Him- priceless.
began the week with sore throat, my voice changed to somehow the male version of me. drank gallons of water, healed. the cough came, not so bad though.. the flu came, used up a lot of tissues, the crazy air con in office made it worse, headache came and everything spinned, not just the wheel.. fever came but thankfully didn't stay long, my skin's peeling off and the small flu tablet makes me sleepy.. reaaal sleepy. sounds bad? actually it's not that bad, somehow it forced me to go home early and sleep longer every night. feelin much better now, but i have constant craving for my pillow.
spent some time at mei's house last nite, i gained weight, i can donate blood now!! hahaa... we did a lot of talking, in the midst of sleepiness. she has a great vision =) left after seeing jessica sierra being kicked out (i seriously think americans are deaf). oh well..
listening >> here i am (father's love)
thinking >> why? why do i have white hair now? ><
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