Friday, October 29, 2004
i'm in a junction.. need road signs.
my mind is just full of things, i'm gonna make full use of my trip back to empty it man... on second thought, i'll do a lot of planning and thinking, yeah there's no better time to do it.
i'm going to take it step by step, may God lead the way... no more regrets.
rejoice in the Lord always and again i say rejoice!
ooh love it man...
listening >> live from another level - the ultimate album haha...
*livi* 10:33 AM
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Thursday, October 28, 2004
thinking back and front.
i am sad to know someone that i know so well for years yet just so full of anger and bitterness right now and i can't really do anything. i still remember those days, though caused me to vomit blood many times and asked for my correction the most among all my ex-sheeps, but a good armour-bearer too. there's no hopeless case, i still believe that God can touch this person's heart, somehow. this leads me to another thought, foundation is very important indeed, sometimes the excitement can only last in the beginning. it should be the word, not friendship. what a great timing to have foundation as conference theme this year then =)
was thinking back bout central hq also, kinda miss it man the days of bridge and mahjong, duck noodles, watching anime and late night soccer with shirls and the WHO gang...hahaha yeah crazy bunch.. hmmm... hq is a great place indeed, blessed to have one.
anyway i spent the day in office helpin pris again today, was thinking of reading artemis fowl actually, but as she said it too, i can have lots of artemis in heaven, better to collect rewards by helping her hahaa... thank God for the massager, that kept me awake...
i've decided to cut short my holiday by half, well my mom's gonna kill me... planning to go back this friday till mid nov actually. will miss pearline's big day waaa... was asking her what she wants for bday gift this afternoon, she replied "you... come back early" waaa... was touched haha... ok i shall do that then... haha.... besides i don't think i can stand so many days without my list of pnw songs and guitar .. not to mention so many things to be done.
praying for tmw..
listening >> all day.. actually it's a niiice song, but i think it's banned in ss liao
*livi* 1:56 AM
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Tuesday, October 26, 2004
what a day of pain and agony... thank you very much eve.. but yet i could see God's miracle and healing though only for few minutes.. and sleep does wonders... =)
ok let's start from yesterday, went out to catch white chicks (i mean the movie) with gerald and david. same as many ppl who tried to convince me before that it's good, i think it is really good, well i had a good time laughing...
after that met my parents for dinner, haven't really seen my mom for ages. talked lots bout future plans, well including shirls' marriage which erm of course we can't really tell now when it will happen haha... ehem anyway it's great to see them though only for one day.
something to ponder as i read a book last night:
am i a leader who fall to this category?
- compulsive? always want to gain control and wish for perfection?
- narcissistic? care too much about my own image? difficult to receive criticism?
- paranoid? difficult to relate with others? always think the worst? can't really take jokes?
- codependent? cover up problems rather than facing them? willing to take on more work as unable to say no to others yet ended up being frustrated?
- passive-aggresive? stubborn? forgetful? intentionally inefficient? tend to complain? procrastinate? can't set goals?
sounds familiar.... we really need God to help us to overcome.....
listening >> how i love you - planet shakers
*livi* 5:12 PM
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Sunday, October 24, 2004
it was kinda scary yet funny.. i don't think i will walk anywhere near istana park's staircase for the time being... got big bruises all over my leg now, we were just keep laughing over the accident.. somebody commented that i fell down beautifully, should have won an award for it... don't know whether i should thank him or not....
anyway started today with a kinda surprising conversation with a brother haha.. kinda glad, should have sorted things out from long time ago actually =)
thinking >> numbers.... the recruitment drive is going on great.....
listening >> again i say rejoice -- yeah rejoice!
*livi* 11:56 PM
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just woke up from my unintentional sleep heh feel like putting down some of my thoughts... it's been a blessed week, i managed to finish some stuff. all the work for conference publicity when i really learned a lot since this time had to do it myself, thank God for steven who's always there to provide help, i think he's a good mentor. not to mention peiru, even davin who helped me with the newspapers haha...
met my team on fri night, i always enjoy meeting them though sometimes they can be very lame.. how lame can you get when you're having a lame competition? -_-
anyway we managed to sort out some things, wanna take this time to affirm tim and alvin, i know you've been serving very hard with the lack of volunteers.. your reward is big in heaven!
don't worry guys, we will settle this problem soon as promised by the leaders =)
last but not least... last night managed to meet up with my fellow bulletin die-hard team - hannah and jerel. haven't really had a meeting with them for quite some time. it was fun and fruitful.. more things to do haha... think back i've been working with them for years man.. time really flies..
ok i think i have to go back to my sleep, or tmw i'll fall asleep on my own teaching.....
^_^
the word is so clear >> be a steward, we don't own anything...
*livi* 2:26 AM
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Friday, October 22, 2004
working with a perfectionist can frustrate you sometimes... i think i was having bad spirit yesterday... got this evil thought in my mind, like why am i doing this anyway when i can do other things that i wanna do.. when this is not even really my responsibility?? was feeling very tired when God just reminded me again, and man i'm so glad i was reminded right at that moment.. managed to continue the whole thing joyfully.
it should not be a sacrifice, it's a privilege.
it's good to do more things, even at times when you don't wanna do. if you see the value, you'll enjoy it =)
feeling >> extremely cold... freezing
thinkin >> almost done... just few minutes more...
*livi* 2:12 PM
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Tuesday, October 19, 2004
i don't like to do a countdown, but i think i'm doing it now... well at least i can see the way that God is showing to me..
thinking of visiting my parents back home, this time have to take a plane and it will take few weeks, should i do it now before going all out for end year conference and xmas? hmm i think susi will enjoy going back with me hahaa but don't think she can escape..
anyway me and shirls had our sakae sushi dinner again last night, it's been a regular activity haha.. at least once a quarter... or once a month.. we just love it. then we went to borders, someone said there was a monkey... interesting huh, nowadays you can see monkey in a bookstore, but i know he's refering to himself... hahah... oops..
somebody told me this today : having a great character is not enough, need to have the substance, what you can do, what you know!
have to be balance. true indeed.
what's my weakness? have a few actually, but i'm thinking about one now, that i know perfectly well, shirls knows it too, all my ex and current shepherds know, even roy... and i suspect more...
-it's better to be a biblical leader rather than a popular leader-
can't be too nice... can't be...
(T_T) ..........it's hard.....
*livi* 11:49 PM
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Saturday, October 16, 2004
the last lap.. sustaining the dream....
hmm....
an interesting day of ss... good learning on perseverance.
when i saw the ppl receiving jesus, this thought came to my mind.. doesn't really matter how good or bad the programmes are, as long as ppl are touched by Him and got the message across. i was just filled with joy... if you feel nothing for the converts, i think it's time to search your heart.. of course that applies for me too...
but of course from programming side, we will give our best also.. haha.....
went to chocolate bar after ss with the girls, nice.. really nice... but i was running on low batt (as in my energy level), after doing some crazy stuffs like 'throwing stones' etc... anyway it was great, saw this pair of earrings, looks exactly like mine but costs 4 times more ex. hmmm unbelievable... God blessed me indeed...
^_^
*livi* 11:48 PM
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Friday, October 15, 2004
freed?
worked out some plans.. received some answers.. waiting in peace....
had a wonderful time at pearline's house, it's been ages since the last time we stayed overnight together. this time together with susi, we attempted to write xmas drama script, and it's not easy.. really not easy.. especially when it's so late at night or should i say early in the morning... i started to think with my eyes closed, trying to assure them that i was not sleeping, just closing my eyes and it's just so comfortable... well within a minute (according to them) i fell asleep... all the way til 5 am.. oopss sorry girls guess night time brainstorming just doesn't work for me ahaha... thought i just fell asleep for 5 min, but apparently almost 3 hours.
well there's another story to it actually, but i think i won't say in detail, even though i know susi will spread it for me -_-
anyway we had a good time of worship and prayer also this morning =)
shall hang out more, then can have more 'watermelon'... 'bubbles'....
alright, tmw is the last of our acts' race!
listening >> supernatural rain - ccc
bass is a wonderful instrument.
*livi* 11:54 PM
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Tuesday, October 12, 2004
haha you can say i'm mad, just bought another 2 pairs of earrings... they're just irresistable (trying to justify my action) and anyway they're not expensive =P
i went to library today, realized that nowadays i don't really look thru fiction area, but more towards mm related books and general knowledge instead. did a lot of reading, very interesting. read a book for SAT, and erm was blown away by it haha very hard... i think my fave book from now on besides bible should be dictionary...
done more thinking.. as i walked and looked at all the trees and birds... many things.. i don't like to think, it makes me frown and got this very unfriendly look on my face, as if the whole world's against me.. haha.. just now susi and nel were discussing about how ppl are wearing masks (drama script).. sometimes when we say "it's ok" or "i'm ok with it", "i'm fine", "no problem", "nothing".... but the truth is.. is it really ok? are my heart and mind in sync? it's a scary thing to harbour unwillingness, disappointment, bitterness, anger... should let them go to God...
we step on one another's shoes coz we walk together closely...
listening >> hear our prayer - united live
another thought -- fma has finally ended, it was really nice... thanks minghon..hehe...
*livi* 11:49 PM
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Sunday, October 10, 2004
i should have known, can't trust the guys to keep our agreement... had another unit outing at east coast today, kayaking and of course a lot of new photos were taken again.. was capsized again and this time 2 times -_- thank you very much... thought i could stay dry today, how naive of me sigh....
but all in all it was a fruitful time, i paddled somewhere further than the rest and just sang my heart out to the Lord, it was so peaceful.. the sea was very calm, no one was around.. just me and the sky.. it was great... it's a great time to just ponder upon some things, and worship... man i really love the sea... haha....
now i'm having the crab-face and ache all over the body... expected, but still... feeling very uncomfortable... hmm
need to be recharged-
*livi* 8:10 PM
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Saturday, October 09, 2004
the tcc near centre point is a very cold place.. more than nexus' mm room...
thanks wenjun for your generousity... shall help out and work harder =)
it's a great ss.. felt blessed by jasmine's prayer and sermon...
i'm hungry again
for God... and also for real food..... haha... i think someone's cooking noodle for me now...
*livi* 11:57 PM
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Friday, October 08, 2004
arrrghh i'm running out of idea... and it's freezing here in nexus.....
where's justin... and veron??
lolly the lion and woody the monkey.... patiently waiting.
thinking >> been spending more time in nexus than home recently
listening >> launch.yahoo songs.. all thanks to veron, i'm hooked now... haha..
shall go back to the 2 creatures -
*livi* 4:03 PM
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Monday, October 04, 2004
Jesus just called me again, i'm John now. Peter is working at city hall, James is doing homework at home.
oh well i think i'm in crappy mood again haha
anyway i've found the culprit, well apparently he's been planning this for quite some time, just happened that my hp was the one unguarded yesterday.. think back it's quite funny, should have seen my face when i first received the call from 'Jesus'.
veron's here now, she's erm so called studying haha we're doing the mm flash together later.. everybody's multi-tasking nowadays.. well she just intro me to a few new songs man quite sad i think i'm quite a frog in the well now, don't really know secular songs.. have to update myself...
listening >> Pachelbel Canon (three violins and a cello)
thinking >> should have learned how to play when i was younger.. didn't work hard enough...
*livi* 8:13 PM
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Sunday, October 03, 2004
alright i've finally finished my first mm project - water baptism cd. wah man seriously it's by God's grace haha and also justin for saving the day, corrected some of my kinda stupid mistakes and found very nice songs. anyway felt relieved it can be done on time, i think it's really not easy as it needs a lot of hardwork, for this i wanna affirm all the mm people =)
went out with meimei after cg just now, she's looking for shoes. we walked and walked and did a lot of talking, exchanged stories haha agreed on some stuffs, it was very fun.. i saw this one nike shoes, told her "wah so cheap only $35 + +??" then she was like "really?" and checked.. oops it was $135 + + hahaha... i think i was a bit blind, couldn't see the no 1.
after that she brought me to this excelsior place to see some guitars and we found a "doraemon" electric guitar haha we were trying to imagine some ppl playing that..
when we were about to go home, i received a call from Jesus.. wah Jesus has hp too.. picked it up and it turned out to be susi my dear shepherd.. well apparently somebody has changed susi's name to Jesus -_-
ok who touched my hp this morning during cg??? own up guys!
lesson to learn - must guard your hp well! i should have known after those past few incidents when somebody sent out misleading messages to some people using my hp... sigh....
listening >> Jesus (not susi haha) - CFNI.... a nice song.....
Jesus...Your love surrounds me and i'm so glad that You've found me....
*livi* 9:02 PM
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