Sunday, August 28, 2005
val.. sweet val.. all the best for prelims and the new ywam- =)
hehh went out with mei, shufen and susi for a nice dinner, too bad the neos need to study. that was very enjoyable nevertheless.. talked and talked and talked and talked =p
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look at the time now.. i must be mad. but i cannot sleep.. really cannot.after the dota game (that ended around 3.30 am..), i went over to my bed and gave my latest soft toy collection a hug, couldn't help but to smile, she is just so huggable. decided to name that tweety bird 'danielle' well cos it's a bird with a very big head.. hmm... hahaa..
maybe i should start from the beginning of the day. i think it's the last day of me doing stage managing.. it felt funny as i stood there at the back, and wondering. but i did have a great time of pnw, even as i was sitting in mm room. all the ppl that i work together with.. truly a blessing in my life.
during one of the break, i went to find jus and ron. ok la no need to hide from roy already.. basically to check on how the album was :p
i was so amazed by them, it was very well done. as i flipped page by page, looking at all the photos and words, it was just waah.. and amazingly (and i think surprisingly, especially to both of them) i cried there and then. couldn't describe. it's not sadness, it's just..touched.. i was touched by an album that is meant for him haha how funny can it be. but i'm not ashamed to admit. it does carry a meaning.
pastor ben reminded me something during the sermon, heh i think somehow i kept smiling as i listened.. you just know when certain words are meant for you.. for ME.
after ss wenjun showed us this video that he made for ywam. i know he came early in the morning to do it in nexus, really thank God for him haha.. i gotta have a copy of that. it's not really the production, but it's the thought.
justin took pics of us again, one by one. we'll see how the end product will be =)
after that we made our way down to marina bay. steamboat. gosh i failed terribly, i'm just not cut for cooking haha. anyway i think didn't really eat a lot, the fact that i'm hungry now is the proof.
we gathered at this one empty space and had some sharing, affirmation and celebrated roy's bday. but anyway seriously if i can, i wanna affirm every single person there cos they all play a part in my life, but i didn't cos.. no 1.. it would have taken very very long.. no 2.. i might cry =p
true, we are bonded cos we serve together.. with one God in one heart. physically, emotionally, spiritually.
well being very frank with one another is one factor too hahaaa..
heya thanks for the diary from mei,ron n val.. they just know exactly what i want and like =)
jus kept his promise and drew me out, not on paper, but printed on t-shirt.. quite amazing.
not forgetting 'danielle' .. waa i was just joking and you guys really bought me that. that's really very sweet... haha
the cards meant a lot to me yah since my love language is words >_<
just as i thought that's all, i received sms from eugene (which i just checked after dota) and brother i can tell you that i am touched, that was really sincere =)
woah i think i'm being quite detailed here, but yah just wanted to share the day. growing from glory to glory, building God's kingdom- more in store for us.
i may be very sentimental, but to me this family of ywam is.. unforgettable.
ok now i am ready to move on, but then.. another 2 weeks extension.. haha.. oh well ~
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Friday, August 26, 2005
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earthWould care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
that's a very meaningful song.. a good song doesn't really lie on the music arrangement or good voice (though it's important too) but more on the lyrics and i love to meditate on lyrics.
it's been a week.. a week that i can't really describe. terrible.
not sure how i could get into this point. maybe in the future when i look back, i'll laugh...
***
yeah anyway we had a wonderful overnight for spt members last sat. roy opened up his house, a time of affirmation and sharing. "what is close to your heart?" shirls asked this question that most of us tried to avoid or maybe it's really cos we're too sleepy already. we played a very funny card game the next day, they took advantage of me being deaf -_-
went to east coast after that, yah it's the time of water baptism. i think the rain stopped at the right time, would be very sad if they had to postpone it just because of the bad weather.
the guys played soccer and meanwhile we had crazy commentators at one side.. with all the dota slang coming out, was quite hilarious.
met dasmond and the team on tue.. my team hope leaders on wed.. lots of discussions.. left a lot of things in my mind too. anyway the good news is we'll solve the volunteers problem soon with the ministry drive going on. so blessed to serve together with them, a bunch of humble ppl with a great servanthood spirit. though mostly are much younger than me (i admit) but it was much fun =)
tmw is sat.. hrrhh.. i have butterflies in my stomach.
listening >> who am i - casting crowns
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Thursday, August 18, 2005
the silence is deafening. bad flu.. blocks my nose, blocks my ears.. and i don't like this feeling of unable to hear the surroundings.. as if i'm walking in a dream. maybe i should eat medicine.what a funny day today, received another blessing but yet followed by a bigger testing. it's like a never-ending problem.
the questions will be.. am i still stretchable?.. am i still joyful?.. will i persevere on? ... will God show me the way?
I am. I will. He will.
I am proud to say that i'm strong cos my God is so BIG and He gives me peace within.
folks, never give up in whatever you're facing! trust me in this.
ok enough with my pass problem. got another thing in my mind now. one more week to go waaa.. ok time to face it, maybe i've been living in denial these past few weeks haha..
steven asked if i'm interested to join the media team, wah man.. i didn't really expect that but he really made my day, considering that media may be or should i say is my passion all along. that's really something to look forward.
but for now my focus is to grill eevoon.. heh she will enjoy it, as much as i enjoy leading this wonderful team of team hope. it's been 4 years from the first day i stood at the entrance, smiled and said welcome.. from usher, team leader, floor manager and managing team hope. seriously i can't list out all the things that i've learnt from this ministry cos there are just too many. blessed i am indeed.
note~
putting God aside, i value friendship higher than anything else, more than family, more than money, more than my own health. that's why for all of ya my good friends, you may not know it but there are certain words and even little little things that you've done before are kept well in my heart. it feels really warm inside ^^
there will never be a farewell for friendship ok.. i'll beat you up if you dare to say goodbye. and i mean it =p
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Tuesday, August 16, 2005
a song to ponder. very nice-Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in
On to the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand
But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again, "Boy, You'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"
But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe
The Voice of Truth
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand
But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again, "Boy, You'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"
But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe
The Voice of Truth
But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them lookin' down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me
But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me(calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe(I will choose to listen and believe)
I will choose to listen and believe
The Voice of Truth
I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe
The Voice of Truth
I will listen and believe
Cause Jesus you are the Voice of Truth
And I will listen to you
you are
voice of truth - casting crowns
***
had a great sunday last week, maybe cos the cg was early.. i remember ps said before that worship should be enjoyed, try not to show a face as if you're having constipation, but the truth is i tear a lot when i worship, can't really describe but it just keeps flowing out.. maybe because it's the time when i can be so real and true to myself, no mask, no need to put up a false front of being strong and right, cos He knows everything anyway, and with that i shall be restored.
i thought a lot about the meaning of this 'irrevocable' word on shirls' t-shirt that i wore that day.. no turning back.. interesting word ^^
met my uncle for dinner at this chinese restaurant in paragon.. din tai fung or something, i think wenjun mentioned before. the noodle's niceee. anyway he showed me some photos during my grandpa's bday, for the first time i saw my future sis in-law hehe i don't know what to say. and my uncle's 3 sons are just so adorable.. time flies... i haven't seen them for ages.
been playing a lot these 2 days.. the guys installed dota into my pc hahaa.. man suddenly i realized that i'm a very reckless person, in all kinds of games, my motto is just move forward and bang myself, no strategy no reservations. many times justin had to remind me "DON'T GO ALONE" or "MOVE BACK" =p
a very patient teacher ah.. but i think he vomitted blood here and there..
ok i've paid the price for all those actions and it was quite discouraging to get killed so many times, sometimes even without knowing why.
lesson learnt : team work.. team work..
huurrr my head's kind of spinning, well not surprising since i've used up one whole box of tissue to stop and clean my running nose. ppl pls be careful, i'm spreading germs.
• • • • •
Saturday, August 13, 2005
celebrated jaime's bday at downtown east just now. happy early bday~ ^^saw many unfamiliar faces there, well but we did have quite a good time together. haven't been gathering with ppl like germs, pearl, junyao and dewen. eilton, liyan and hanyew were there too and i think we crapped quite a lot, well besides watching tv. the whatever last episode was quite exciting. the cake was definitely very fattening but nice =p huurr i felt very amused seeing them.
oh some photos from the previous wam retreat-
arrgh that 7-eleven plastic bag... sigh..
when can we have a complete ywam pic?
hmmm i can't sleep and i don't really feel like.
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Thursday, August 11, 2005
been looking at too many numbers, time to break my concentration and do other stuff like blogging hahaa..while most ppl are having oompa loompa fever now (gosh including me.. you should try singing along the songs), there's another kind of fever at home.. none other than.. the genius, millionaire, criminal mastermind and is only 12 yrs old erm 14 now ~ artemis fowl~
yah i think i've mentioned about him some months or years back, well anyway shirls just bought the whole series (4 books so far) cos borders was having a big sale! though not as heavily publicized and popular as harry potter, i'd say artemis has his own charm (i can hear shirls saying amen behind). an interesting one.. you guys should try to read, and boy i hope the movie will come out one day..
huurr i really have to do some saving up, so many temptations around and the biggest one comes from simlim square believe it or not. went there last nite to do some errands, and somehow i felt like you know.. using my savings to buy camera, ps2 or some games, printer or even those 3 in 1 with scanner and photocopy machine, movies-dvd, and many other nice stuff. ok it may sound weird, but that place is really quite a heaven to me (besides accessories esp earrings shops) hahaaaa... but ya i have self-control so i didn't buy anything.
listening >> chant - the katinas
brings back memories =p
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this is the view from my parents' house in indonesia. cool fresh air, top of a mountain ^^
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Wednesday, August 10, 2005
the feeling is a bit like just came back from camp, you know.. spiritually refreshed but physically drained. if only i can sleep at home today like most of them.. met mei, ron n val (they could stay overnight, what a rare ^^), daniel, reagan and joe at harbourfront, we went to sentosa together after dinner. it's funny, the others waited for us at the bus stop and led us to this very dark, kind of like haunted house well which was just a short-cut to the real chalet actually -_-
we walked thru very dark places that reminded us a lot of st john island and when we've finally reached there, they tried to scare reagan off (since hendra's not there) by doing some stupid stuff like hiding in the darkness n crawling like ju-on.. hahah..
let's see.. the mahjong session stressed me out and i wonder why i couldn't even win a game. that incredible tales on tv was one entertainment considering how amusing it was. i've found myself eating a lot and we had really good laugh at daniel and his 'voldo' =p
there were some thoughts in my mind as the night's drawing late and i just had to take the guitar out and moved away from the crowd for a while. balcony was very quiet, well justin was already enjoying himself there, but i treated him as if he's
invisible, and i think he's in his own world as well. apart from the mosquitos, i did have good time of prayer and reminder, or another way of saying.. correction haha.. how the mind works, yah once in a while i have to scold my brain.
realign my life.
to me the retreat was about refreshment and reminder. great pnw time, not that it felt good but felt God (i'll remember that one) a lot of reminder about individual walk with God, most importantly before running all kinds of ministries.
check this out:
-when you don't feel good, remember that this day is at least still better compared to our previous days without God-
yah had the chance to mingle with awam ppl as well.. spent time on the beach with the gals, saw diff part of shufen =p
had a very funny journey back to HB on the church truck, imagine 14 ppl inside, as if we're being sold. heh free sauna. wrapped the day up with a short talk with jasmine as we walked, somehow it put another thought in me but this time was a good one =)
it's really an event that will stay in my mind. the big wam family-
feeling >> fluffy fluffy.... appreciated. thank you.
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Monday, August 08, 2005
grace is getting something that you don't deserve. and i can say that i'm one good living example.. God is faithful even when we're not. i won't be able to comprehend how His mind works but from time to time i know that God favours me *grinning from ear to ear*i went to the overloaded and wounded seminar on friday nite, it was unplanned and i'd say a blessing indeed. a very interesting lesson and some parts just hit me so hard that i couldn't help but to smile. it's like a reminder of how foolish i was or am, especially in handling stress.
anyway a few learning points:
- Don't take things too hard especially when you're counselling someone who doesn't give you a very good response.
- I can't help everybody, I am not superman. Learn to say 'no', nothing to feel bad about it
- Take care of myself first before I can help anyone else.. or I'll end up burning myself
- Don't forget my first love, cos I am not my ministry
a lot more.. like laugh, laugh and laugh... listen, listen and listen! how to handle stess n help others in it.
i guess there has to be a balance... we cannot be parents (and pamper the children) but we have to be leaders who guide and support. but of course the love and care have to be genuine =)
well after that we went to nexus to find the rest, after supper etc we ended up taking cab home. slept for less than 4 hours that night and man i really regret it.
we had a great ss the next day, it felt ages since the last time i did fm, managed to settle some stuff and got to know some new ushers (actually not so new, but i really had no idea who they are). pastor went a bit high at youth ss, the sermon was simply hilarious. but i really love the whole content, caregroup.. family.. be connected, be committed. there's no such thing called 'the perfect cg', whose responsibility is this? it's you and me my dear, not the leader.. if the rest are not loving, not fun, not happening, then i'll start the ball rolling.
reagan was walking around taking pics with everybody, it's just funny ^^
think this is nice hahah my part time sheep? =p
anyway for the first time, we managed to watch movie on sat night! hahaha.. well actually not the first time la, but it's been ages. this time we reached prince right on time (as we alighted at the right bus stop, unlike the previous experience) and considering the size of the cinema and no of ppl going there, of course we could get good seats.
charlie and the chocolate factory is indeed a good one, though a bit like bollywood movies with oompa loompa's songs and even dance inserted in some scenes hahaha but it was just funny. and charlie is such a dear. the songs are nice, shuz is crazy enough to find n download them and shirls is crazy enough to memorize them -_-
Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka, the amazing chocolatier
Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka, everybody give a cheer
He's modest, clever, and so smart, he barely can restrain it
With so much generosity, there is no way to contain it, to contain it, to contain.... to contain... to contain...
Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka, he's the one that you're about to meet
Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka, he's a genius who just can't be beat
The magician and the chocolate whiz
The best darn guy who ever lived
Willy Wonka, here he is!
phew what a song haha.. but i was too tired that night due to the lack of sleep and long day duty at nexus, so alas i fell asleep at some parts *i really regret* boo...
no cg on sunday but we ended up meeting outside at the end after all. there were times that i wished i could read minds.. cos it can be so tiring trying to guess what the other person's thinking or feeling. maybe that'why it's so hard to be a counsellor, a friend or yet just to be a human. if that's for the best, if it is your decision, so be it.
going for wam retreat tonight at sentosa, this is really something that we hardly have. hrrmm..... will blog more then-
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Thursday, August 04, 2005
i'm dread of tomorrow -_-phew thank God for ziying, she managed to handle all the gifts wrapping for this sat and i didn't need to go down to nexus with her. after going out these past few days, i really need time to rest at home, been a very very tiring week in office =(
i went out with mei again last nite and we did something very sinful... veggie, meat, soup, sushi, ice cream... unlimited. yah we went to seoul garden hahaha. it was not planned actually, just happened to remember that i had discount there. anyway poor mei couldn't eat ice cream cos of her hand's injury but nevermind, her new job worths all the celebration =p
i wonder if i've reached 50 kg now-
certain things in my mind now.. the upcoming wam retreat.. book of romans.. discipleship.. this sat's ss.. and a few ppl that i really miss. i think i frown a lot which led me to look so old sigh...
listening >> i don't want to be - bo bice version
- who can be against us? i'm not going to be defeated -
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Tuesday, August 02, 2005
the word is crystal clear. i was reading romans 8 (whole chapter) and it reminded me a lot of things... life through the spirit.. future glory.. more than conquerors. it's funny how you keep looking for new books to read (may it be christian lit or not) but yet you ignore the most interesting n important book of all- well you know what book i'm talking about.
going for the seminar later.. actually can't really remember what class it is, but i believe we won't go home empty.
last night i was in nexus too, dasmond met me, meiling, philip n dennis (from adult, not dennis loh =p) for some team hope discussion. it struck me again somehow.. how big and important all these ministries are plus other kind of event management that he's doing. and i did learn a lot from him and the other leaders, not just the way of doing, but spirit as well.
interesting that dennis thought i was eurasian or something, because of my name that certainly doesn't sound chinese, actually someone thought before i was from some western country as well, but after seeing me.. well obviously am not =p
anyway i thank God for the opportunity to meet up together, an eye opener. many exciting things to come ^^
yes and i thank God for having a wonderful name hahaha... yah i love my name.
sunday.. oh we had an enjoyable cg, at least i did enjoy it much. justin came out with this violent game that led some of us leaving the house with injuries and bruises, not to mention i had to do forfeit which.... errm nvm. anyway with all the worship n prayer n teaching, though it was one of our longest cg, i felt refreshed.
there's a joke. i told the guys that i wanted to buy a mouse after cg. so at the end we went to popular, and hendra was sooo surprised that he asked "they sell mouse at popular???" i said yes of course, and after thinking a while he replied "you mean you want to buy the pc mouse ah?"
*livi almost fell down* bwahahaha.. ooh well sometimes he really can make us speechless. and i seriously don't think mouse is a good choice of pet =p
good mouse = good games of isketch.
listening >> times of refreshing
-there's no greater joy Lord than being with you-
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